How I Wreck Myself

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Is it wrong?
Maybe so.
I think and I act.
Does that make me terrible?
Maybe so.
I do it anyway.
You're probably better off,
Maybe so.
But maybe not?
I decide to do it,
Thinking there will be no regrets.
There really isn't,
despite one:
The regret of filling myself with these lies,
with this hope.
Your hope fills me, straight to the brim of my cold wrecked body.
I regret looking at you, praying on you like an innocent kitten. So sweet and so pure.
I regret seeing your smile, for it made me happy.
I know it is not mine to come to at night.
But when it's dark in my room,
my blanket can no longer keep me warm enough.
I look to my side and I can almost envision you.
Your crisp features.
Your light, picturesque skin.
Your beautiful mouth, your composed grin.

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