Tranny:Larry Stylinson

part four

louis' pov:

my parents and i are fighting again. it's 2 am on a tuesday and i've been out of the house since around 10 pm. they don't want me to transition and i cannot have this conversation with them right now, i have school in 5 hours and it's only my second day at the art school. it's disappointing because they're not ready for me to transition. i'm ready to transition though. i need to transition or i'm not sure how much longer i'll be able to take this. i'm going to scout the town for a job after school. it's been a while now since my last job. i've been working since i was 15 because i've done my research on hormone replacement therapy and surgeries and i know they're not cheap. i have around $500 but need at least $2,500 because my parents currently aren't on board with me starting hormones, this leaves me without insurance.

as i make my way to a park i begin to cry. i'm getting so frustrated with who i'm being forced to be. i never asked to be trans and i hate being trans. i often think to myself, 'if i weren't trans i'd be so happy. i'd have friends, i'd play footie with the other boys, i'd socialize more, i wouldn't be fighting with my parents, i wouldn't have to spend thousands of dollars on hormones, and maybe i'd even have a boyfriend.'

i'm thinking so much about everything. i know i can't die because i haven't completed my goals in life, but i feel as if i might die. as i sit on this swing in the park i just realize how pathetic i am to be crying all alone at 2 am on a swing. if i'm going to be this emotional maybe no one will ever see me as male. i just want to die.

harry's pov:

"mate want to take a drag?"

"no i'm fine but thanks..."

"common haz it's okay it's just wee-"

"zayn javadd malik, he said no drop it"

"shut up camille"

i'm hanging out with zayn and his friend camille. i don't typically hang with this sort of crowd but it's nice. it's risky i kinda like it. zayn called me crying earlier this night, he hasn't been able to sleep for days. late last year when me a zayn first met he had gotten too far into the partying scene and was battling a cocaine addiction. he went to rehab over the summer and since we've been texting a lot. i've since learned his cold-hearted appearance is a front and deep inside zayn is actually a really sensitive bloke.

we make our way along a path and soon enough camille and zayn are stumbling in the street. zayn's roomate is a bar tender so it wasn't hard for us to get our hands on some liquor. i can tell i'm tipsy but at least i'm not like the drunk messes on my side. zayn quick grabs my face and plants a kiss on my lips. we don't say anything about it after, we just look at each other with crazy eyes and giggle. i turn to camille and i kiss her. we also just giggle. with that we turn a new street and start new conversations.