Is it this normal to feel this numb?
I have this feeling in my gut that doesn't go away. It's like I want to cry so badly, but I don't...
It's just a phase, right? That's what my mom said.
I just wanted to know how it is to be happy and sad, but apparently I just feel most of the time sad...It's quite funny though if I re-read this again another time because I'll just think it's nonsense, because I forgot how I felt.
It hurts, but it doesn't; it aches, but I don't feel; it breaks me, but I'm still here. What is happening...?
Help.
I'm asking for help. I need help. I want help.
But I guess people don't get it...I wanna scream, and say how I feel, but how do I feel? I cant say I feel sad, because sadness is temporary, but I'm not happy as well...
What am I actually feeling? Ha, I know it hurts, doesn't it...?
I'm sorry if this is complicated, but that's how I'm feeling, I guess.
Yeah, it's complicated.
And hard.
And it been so long that this feeling has been here, and I'm scared. Scared of being criticized by my parents, friends and others because of it. What if I'm just being dramatic, or just wanting attention? What if this is just all in my head?
I don't know what I want.
I don't know...
I don't know...
I don't know...
Someone!
Please!
I'm desperate...
HELP!
