(One Shot) Palayo Sa'yo

(One Shot) Can I Change Your...

"Nagmumukmok ka na naman! Wala ka na bang ibang alam na gawin? Ang kalat na dito sa unit mo oh! Eh sabagay maligo nga di mo magawa, maglinis pa kaya?" Puna ni Cheska ng madatnan niya akong nakatunganga malapit sa glass window at pinagmamasdan ang pagpatak ng ulan sa labas.

Saglit ko lang siyang tinapunan ng tingin at binalik ulit ang atensyon sa labas.

"Trish ano ba! Ayusin mo nga iyang buhay mo! Hindi umiikot ang buhay mo kay Radley okay?"

Radley....

Napapikit na lang ako ng maalala ko siya.
Sana nga hindi na lang umikot ang buhay ko sa kanya. Sana hindi ko hinayaang umikot ang buong pagkatao ko sa walang kwentang tao tulad niya.
Sana.

Di ko na namalayan na umiiyak na pala ako habang nakayuko.

Hanggang kailan ba tatagal ang sakit?
Kailan ba ako makababangon?

Naramdaman ko na lang na may yumakap sakin patalikod.

"S-sorry Trish. Sorry I was insensitive. Sorry nabanggit ko ang pangalan niya but seriously Trish, you need to get up and fix your life. Don't let him affect your system. We all know na di mo deserve lokohin." Pag aalo ni Cheska.

I know. I just can't help it.
Ang sakit pa rin.
It's just been one week. One week since he told me the truth and broke up with me.
Alam niyo yung feeling na all of my life akala ko siya na? Na akala ko nakita ko na ang makakasama ko habang buhay? Pero nagising na lang ako isang araw na iba na ang mahal niya. Iba na ang pinaglalaban niya.

How tragic is that, huh?

We were college sweethearts, I spent half of my life being with him. Okay na sana eh. Everything was perfect. He was so sweet, so gentle. He's every girl's dream. He was beyond perfect. And I was so lucky because he's my man. Heck, I was the luckiest in the world because I owned him, I owned his heart. Masyadong perfect na kahit sabihin niyang ayaw niya na, hindi ako makapaniwala.

It was raining that time when he told me the truth. Na he got Tessa, our campus' queen pregnant.

"Kailan pa?" I asked, trying so hard to control my tears.

"I d-don't know. I was drunk and I don't clearly remember what happened that night." He answered.

"Pero ginusto mo diba? Ginusto mo!" Nilapitan ko siya at sinuntok suntok. How dare he?!

"Trish, it was just a mistake!" Pigil niya sa mga kamay ko.

"Yes it was just a mistake but you chose that mistake over me!" Iyak pa rin ako ng iyak kahit alam ko na naghahalo na ito sa patak ng ulan.

"I don't have a choice. She needs me. My child needs me." Pagsusumamo niya.

"But I also need you" bulong ko, humihikbi pa rin.

Nanghinahina akong umupo sa gitna ng daan. Feeling worthless, feeling pained. I don't think I can handle this pain.

"Trish, don't be selfish. Mahirap din sakin 'to. I loved you but can't you understand? Magiging tatay na ako. May anak na nangangailangan ng atensyon ko, ng pagmamahal ko."

"You don't have to break up with me Rad. Please, please Radley. Mapapatawad kita sa pagkakamali mo. Tatanggapin ko ang bata. I can let you give that-that c-child your name. Please just, just stay with me." Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay baka sakaling maramdaman niya yung determinasyon ko na di ko siya papakawalan.