Behind Hazel Eyes

Chapter Four

Chapter 4

My sister.

Of course, I still have Kylie. Sweet Kylie. She has no idea what has just happened. I cant tell her. I can't look upon her face and see the pain and sadness slowly envelope her sweet self. I can't.

But I must. I have to.

I just need to calm down for a while. I need to be able to control the tears that are fighting to be free. I drive home in my old beat up car. When I pull up in the driveway I let all my feelings free. I allow them to escape me. Strange noises struggle their way up my throat out into the world. Tears are streaming down my face, as if they were all in a marathon, racing to be in first place. My vision suddenly blurs and the crisp sick world in front of me turns into blotchy spots. I scream until my lungs hurt so bad that my once screams are now moans. I hold my knees tight against my chest, hoping that if I get smaller maybe the pain will lessen. But it doesn't. My fingers are digging into my legs, they are white and purple. I struggle to take a deep breath, but once I do I feel better. I blow my nose and wipe my tears. I bite my lip in order to tell the tears that the race is over, there is no need to continue. I climb out of my car and trudge inside. I walk into the kitchen and splash water on my face, over and over again. Trying to was away the pain. I dry my face and head up stairs to my room. But something catches my attention. Something yellow and square. I immediately read it.

ĸιera

ι aм goιng oυт тo rυn ѕoмe errandѕ. ι нope you feel better. Sweeтιe, ι love yoυ ѕo мυcн and aм ѕo proυd oғ yoυ. нave a greaт day!

love мoм ♡

I start to loose it once again. My tears splatter on the note. I quickly wipe them away and pick up the note, shielding it from the cruel world that took my mother from me. My heart aches. It aches so much I can't stand it. I fall to the ground, the note still in my hand. I roll up into a ball and sob like an infant. I can't control the aching throbbing pain inside me. I let everything go. Everything. I break apart. I lay there for an hour straight wailing.

After I finish and go to my room to fix myself up, I get in my car and head to Kylie's school.

When I arrive everything seems normal. How can everything be perfectly normal when something so terrible happened. I get mad and feel the blood rising in my face. I realize this and quickly inhale deeply. I need to be strong for Kylie. Oh Kylie. Sweet Kylie. She deserves so much more. What am I going to do! I am only sixteen! I can't believe I haven't thought of this. I guess I'll have to go live with some aunt. But I can't think of this now. I need to be calm and strong when I tell Kylie the news. I turn off the engine and get out of the car. I walk up the steps to the same grade school I went to when I was young.

I remember my first day of first grade. It was a rainy day. I was a new kid at a new school. I wouldn't let go of my fathers hand. The teacher had to literally tug me off my father. I cried and screamed. I definitely did not make a good first impression. But then this boy came up to me and told me that he was knew as well. I didn't feel so alone. That boy was my only friend that whole year. His name was Jacob Stride. We were friends all through seventh grade. Then just one day he left. He never said goodbye, he just left me alone. I had no friends. I cried for days when I learned why he left. It was because his mom died and his dad wasn't able to care for him, so they sent him to some family. I cried not jut because I knew he left me by myself. , but because of what happened to him. Because he lost his mother and father. He had no siblings, he was totally and utterly alone.

This school had some good memories as well, but I share them all with Jacob, which makes me remember the pain. I open the door and head to the office where the vice principle is sitting behind her desk, her glasses resting on the tip of her nose. I walked up and stand there for a while. The lady seemed oblivious to me standing just feet away from her. I tap my fingers and clear my throat in an attempt to get her attention. Eventually I just say excuse me and she faces me startled out of her concentration.

"Yes, young lady. What can I help you with?" She said is a very high voice. She almost sounds like a child, all giddy and cheerful.

I quickly ruin her mood.

"My mother just got in a very serious accident, and I need to pick up my sister. Her name is Kylie Langley." I say as calmly as I can.

She seems very saddened by this. Her face scrunched and her eyes shift. Her lips pursed and she cleared her throat before speaking again.

"I'm sorry." She said in a sympathetic voice.

Then she hit a number on the phone and it quickly dialed the classroom that Kylie must have been in. When someone answered on the other line the vice principle told her that Kylie must come to the office immediately. Then she hung up.

Kylie walked up the stairs two minutes later. She had a big smile on her face, but that was gone as soon as she saw I was there instead of her mother.

I put my arm around her shoulder and headed towards the door. She got in my passenger seat eagerly.

I start the engine and drive away from the grade school. The school that held so many memories, good and bad. Now I was creating a bad memory for my little sister. The day her mother got in an accident and isn't expected to live. I told her everything in the calmest voice possible.

But after I said everything she just say there, shocked. She made no noise, not one wimped escaped her small fragile body. After a whole minute she finally broke down. She was balling her eyes out. She was asking me why. She prayed to god and screamed at him. Eventually she got tired and curled up into a ball, still whimpering. Then she lifted her head and looked at me. She caught sight of my own tears silently making their way down my cheek. Then she spoke in her sweet sweet voice.

"She isn't expected to live... That means she has a chance right?" She said, her voice cracking.

I think about it for a moment. I guess I haven't thought of that. There is still hope. Still a chance that he might wake up and our lives could be back to normal. I hold on to the sliver of hope that pinches at my heart, like a crab pinching a finger. I nod my head, agreeing with her statement. This seems to help her gather herself. She takes a few deep breaths then leans her head against the window and falls asleep. I look at her as she sleeps peacefully. I drive home and carry her into her bed. I tuck her in like my mother used to, planting two small kisses on her forehead. I go down stairs and sit at a barstool, thinking if what to do. Thinking of everything that happened. Thinking that just yesterday everything was perfectly normal, everything was great. And now it was horrible.

I decide to call my best friend and tell her what happened. I dial the number.

"Sophie?" I say in a weak voice.