I go in my room and open the top drawer of my dresser. My hands are shaking and I know I shouldn't do this. I reach under the drawer and find where the razor blade is taped and I pull it free. I pull off the tape and shakily walk to the kitchen, I grab the rubbing alcohol and scrub the residue off. Tears start streaming down my face and I walk to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and I look so different, but still all I see is the abuse and pain I've endured... I sit on the edge of the tub and text my best friend. I tell her i can't stay strong and her and her boyfriend text me simultaneously telling me to put it down. But the voices keep screaming at me telling me to carve at my skin so I do.. The blood slowly bubbles to the surface and I remember how I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't do it. I cry harder and cut again because I know I've already lost him. I keep cutting, feeling the skin rip under the blade... I see the headlights of my parents coming up the driveway and I get up cover my leg and walk out smiling. I do things for them and make them comfortable and happy. I relapsed and this is only the beginning..
