The Misfortune of Distorted Truth

No Matter Who You Are

M opened her own eyes as Dehllah's story came to a close. She had been picturing the details in her head, and was amazed at how vivid the images seemed to be.
"That was precisely how Val told it," the Teahdee claimed, "and... has told it, and will tell it, at least once a year every year." She sighed in exasperation and her rose gold butterfly wings fluttered anxiously. "The kid is a braggart and a tiresome narcissist, I say. Lyra, you should not look forward to meeting him."
But M was not listening. Hearing the history as told by Valen Marinos, she had come to a sort of... understanding. She knew where the Wedhn came from, what she was, and why she was what she was. It was the closest thing to a revelation she had ever experienced. "So Duygu really isn't after my eyes?" She touched her face, as young Valen had so many centuries ago. "But... Dehllah, there are still two things I'm unsure of, maybe more... what happened to Asagwara? A-and, and, where did the Eyes come from?"
The Teahdee became downcast again. She pawed at the ground with her sparkling hoof, seemingly unsure what to say. "I'm not supposed to tell you, Lyra."
M curled her fists, and shot back, "I don't care!" She grimaced at the ceiling, trying to keep shimmering tears from escaping down her cheeks, thinking of her family, of Isaac. She couldn't believe it had been less than a day since she'd last seen him, yet if felt like an eternity. How much longer would she have to live in this dark, lonely underground world without so much as a simple answer to the questions that burned at her heart? M missed her guardian, her puppy Tully, her new friends, and her parents. The parents she hadn't seen for ten months, and her ache for them, to be held in their arms, had not attacked her this aggressively until then. "How many times must I say-"
"But I will." Dehllah smiled sadly at M as the girl's mouth opened in surprise. "I may not be terribly empathetic or understanding, but you still deserve to know. After I tell you, however..." Her eyes hardened. "After I tell you, you will not speak a word of it to Duygu, Asagwara, Joshie, or anyone else, and we will resume training. I will teach you the usage of your Gift and that will be all. Yes?"
M nodded quickly. She did not desire to get the Teahdee in trouble. She stretched out further on her bed, clinging to the thin, but cool sheet, and once more focused on listening attentively. M couldn't help but cling to the feeling of excited hope that itched inside her, either. She heard a distant scrabbling of paws and sharp claws tapping on stone, but drowned it out. Perhaps she should not have.
"Lyra, Duygu is a very complex beast, oftentimes cruel, but they are a good leader. They keep Fortunia under control. What you may find difficult to process about Duygu is that those who do not cooperate instantly with them may be punished. Th-they, well, they a-are, uh, might I say as gently as possible, they are power hungry." Dehllah winced, surveying the cave as if to check that Duygu was not there listening in. "They want the Wedhn for them self, and the Sorrowturtle is not one to fight back. Duygu selects the humans who cooperate to serve them, and their Gift is spared. This is why, I'm sure, Asagwara likely warned you not to protest when he brought you here. He was concerned for you. However, if a Wedhn does not comply with Duygu's ways, then they steal the source of his or her power - the eyes, that is - and is able to control them. That, dear Lyra, is what happened to your Asagwara Nenge." M's Teahdee bit her lip. Her long eyelashes made her seem even more depressed, the way they curved around her lids and cast shadows across her face, and caught a single abnormally blue tear that slid from her eye without her consent.
M covered her mouth, stifling a gasp. "You aren't serious," she said, horrified. She already knew it was true. She didn't want to believe it.
"He... he fought for his life and they took it away." M lowered her hands, slightly shaking with some wretched combination of anger and sorrow, resisting the urge to punch the wall. That solution would have only resulted in broken bones, and possibly blood.
"They didn't take it away, Lyra," Dehllah coaxed, placing a hoof on the girl's brown knee. "It isn't too late for him. It's not. Duygu took away his sight and has him under their control, but he can still get it back! The Eyes, they... the Eyes, you see, are the beings my leader created when they took the power from the other two humans the Sorrowturtle selected. Duygu favored Sir Valen, they always did, though they would not care to admit it. The Sorrowturtle has gone through a good fifty or so Wedhn trying to find ones Duygu approves of. The humans who did make it are those ancestors of you, Joshilynn, and Asagwara. Duygu would never hurt a single soul directly related to Valen."
"D-D-Dehllah... Ehmohree lied to me b-before." M wiped furiously at her shining purple eyes until they were completely dry again.
"What?"
"Ehmohree said no one knew why Duygu banned the Bright Land except for the Eyes. He lied. You told me why when you told Valen's story, remember? Why did he lie?"
The Teahdee started. She removed her hoof from M's leg and flapped her rose gold butterfly wings so that she moved several inches backwards. "Oh, uh." Her voice went silky smooth. "Ehmohree was just trying to protect you from the truth, Mistress Lyra. He doesn't think you should be a Wedhn at all. He cares only for his Joshie."
"That won't work on me anymore!" hissed M. She reached out an arm and struck Dehllah fiercely across her muzzle, so that the Teahdee blinked and her eyes cleared.
"What won't?" She was utterly confused.
Then, M understood. "Oh, Dehllah, it's not him, is it? It's not any of them! I know that tone. Asagwara gets it when he lies to me, and so does everyone else. Duygu..." Her eyes lit up. "Duygu controls those who don't cooperate. They don't know about Ehmohree's tunnels, so Ehmohree and Joshie are safe, right? But, then, you and Asagwara, you must have stood up to them... Duygu, I-I mean, and-" M frowned. She turned slowly to Dehllah, and then looked past her, out of her bedroom, to the main cave.
No one was there, of course. But M had suddenly gotten the spine-tingling feeling that they were being watched. "I shouldn't have mentioned the tunnels," she whispered. Her Teahdee moved her great head too, very cautiously and rhythmically, as if she were the second hand on a clock, to look at the spot that her apprentice had her gaze fixed upon.
"I don't know quite what you're meaning," Dehllah replied, rubbing her snout - though she hadn't even known M had hit her, in her trance - and sniffed the air. She crept from the cave and poked her head out into the tunnel from the entrance, then snorted.
"Is someone out there, then?" M tried to see from where she was, but couldn't, so she instead rolled onto her back as Dehllah exchanged murmurs with a stranger in the hall. A shard of blue gemstone casually jutting out of the ceiling winked at her, catching the light.
When Dehllah glided back in, there was a second individual sauntering in with her. He was a human - a Wedhn, too, M presumed. He wasn't very tall, not more than six inches over five feet, but he stuck out his chest with his back erect like he towered over everyone else. The man had spider-black hair that had been violently combed and covered with overly-expensive hair gel to slick it back high. For some reason, M's gaze was drawn to his left hand, which was missing its index finger. A polished gold ring band sat on the stub that remained, a glittering pink jewel perched on top of it. M would have guessed he was middle-aged by the way he carried himself, but the man pulled off looking even older. What was especially disturbing were the clothes he was wearing; they were so absolutely outlandish that M was reminded of the fashions she'd glimpsed super models and the like sporting on runways.
"Hello, Lyra!" the man greeted her enthusiastically. His voice was a little pinched, somewhat strained, and higher pitched but not falsetto. He dashed forward to shake her hand, and his grip was strong yet soft in texture. M nearly got a face full of what looked like a furry blue scarf around his neck. She reluctantly returned his handshake, then politely scooted away. The man was dressed mostly in blue, wearing baggy pants covered in creases, and shiny black dress shoes on his two feet. He had a gold belt that looked like two snakes intertwining, wrapped around his waist. Then there was a blue jacket to match the pants, which didn't have buttons or a zipper and was completely opened to reveal his olive-toned stomach. The man wasn't pencil-thin, but he wasn't overweight, either. He certainly didn't have much in the way of muscle. The other item he wore was the scarf...
"An infinity Scarfe," he went on, catching M examining it. The man lifted his pointed, pristine nose. "Extreeemely rare creature. My word, it takes a great deal of skill to catch one. They're slow, but hard to spot." He raised his thin black eyebrows, which were reasonably tidy. "Oh, and, dear, I'm Valen, by the way."
M's eyes widened, and they met his. She noticed for the first time his rouge eyes, a fascinating assortment of pink. It couldn't be denied that he was an attractive man, but that didn't make up for his personality. "You're Valen Marinos?"
"Yes, yes," he drawled, stroking the gold, copper, and bronze jewels that lined the belly of the infinity Scarfe draped around his shoulders. "That's me, aha, no autographs, if you please." He went on stroking the black stubble that speckled his chin and the area above his pale lips.
M saw that Val's hands were hardly larger than her own, if at all, as if they belonged to a child. She wondered exactly how aging worked for him when he was made immortal at age ten...
"I've been waiting to meet you, but..." She trailed off uncertainly. This man had not been what she expected. M had imagined Val as being tall and noble, covered in the scars of his many battles, strong while gentle and kind - not this. No, no, this couldn't be right. What this man was, the man who stood before her, was a person who thought himself to be superior to her and all others, nothing more than a narcissist. "I'm sorry," M admitted plainly, "you're just not how I pictured."
Val came closer, and M spotted for the first time a silver nose ring and a piercing on his right ear, which had a small animal claw or tooth poking out of it. He sure did like his jewelry. "Oh, right, that's fine. I understand. I would say the same about you, no matter, no matter." He waved his small hand dismissively, and looked to Dehllah. "I appreciate your services, obviously, darling, but uh, I think I better teach Mistress Lyra myself. Yes, yes, I think I should." Val used the same hand to wave the Teahdee off as if she were a servant, and she snorted disgustedly as she had when she had seen him in the hall. But Dehllah trotted off without a word.
"I'm not your apprentice, though." M glanced longingly past the man, hoping for her Teahdee to reappear; it did not happen. She wished that, if she were to be stuck here with Val, that at least she could have the company of Joshie or Ehmohree or Asagwara as well.
Val ignored her comment. "So Dehllah must have told you the history already. Good story, innit?" He peered at his left hand, wiggling the remaining fingers. "Mmm."
"Uh, well, sure, sir," M sighed. "I suppose you must be awfully mad at Howell's family - his descendants, I mean." She didn't think it was fair to place blame on relatives of the Mouse, but figured Val would, being the person he was, and that she ought to mention something about it.
"No, no, don't be silly." Val seemed confounded by her statement. "Girl, Howell is still alive himself, obviously, and he has no children of his own. Why, he's not yet out of his teen years." At her befuddled expression, he added, "That's how aging goes when you live as long as the Mousen do. Their life expectancy can be up to half a million years. A shame really, since they're all vermin." He was smiling as this insult inadvertently slipped off his tongue, an imperfect smile of vaguely yellowed teeth that would've have been alright on a nice person, but made any already unfriendly people such as himself seem worse.
M made an effort not to reveal her opinions on her face, but had sadly forgotten that Val had complete access to her mind.
"So let's go on to my cave, shall we," he recommended primly, not acknowledging the general idea of thoughts swirling around the girl's head, which was something like whiny prick. M realized he had been listening in and blushed from ear to ear; she mumbled what was meant to be an apology and followed Val as he sped from Dehllah's chambers with no further input of her own.
As they darted quickly down the dimly lit halls, M got her first glimpses of several species she hadn't seen up close before. She assumed that this was a popular tunnel that departed towards many different destinations; Mousen, over-sized bugs, a rainbow of Teahdeean, things she couldn't identify, and occasionally flashes of furry green or blue on a large beetle's back went by, making various sounds of communication unique to their kind. M eventually took to staring fixedly at the Scarfe lazily draped around Val's shoulders, for watching others move as fast as she was being forced to had become nauseating. She was beginning to sweat. As it so happened, an easy solution was absorbing herself in the thick blue hairs of the Scarfe; when she did, M didn't even notice the trickle of strangely cold perspiration sliding down her neck.
When they got to Val's cave, the girl was in for a pleasant surprise. Val drew back the rich velvet curtains offering his entrance privacy with a flourish and did not bother to hold them open for M. However, her annoyance with him quickly dissipated as she followed him in and saw that Asagwara and Joshie were inside as well, whispering to each other. They both looked up and exchanged smiles with her.
The size of Val's chambers were obviously a result of favoritism on Duygu's part, as the main room was thrice as large as Dehllah's and led to four other rooms just as big. The main room was for the kitchen and for dining, with an intricately carved rectangular oak table, eight chairs around it, a smooth granite counter with a clean water basin, and a cabinet with three shelves filled with containers of varying sizes: containing various medicines, cooking ingredients, and other items. A miniature potted tree with branches dark as ebony seemed to serve as a jewelry rack for Valen. It was draped with thin gold chains, necklaces made with heavy circles of brass, an entire rainbow of actual scarves with patterns of nature or abstract shapes, and many glittering rings and ear decor that were nowhere near collecting dust. M saw that nothing in Val's collection of immense frivolities was like the tooth or claw that hung from his right ear. Perhaps it was of some special significance, or utterly unique.
Peering into the connecting caves, M glimpsed two bedrooms, a bathroom, and living quarters. She wondered what Valen needed two beds for when there was no Teahdee of his in sight.
"Sincerest apologies for the mess," said Val, looking disgustedly at the spotless surfaces. "I hadn't the time to prepare for three guests." He took a seat on an oak chair at the head of the table, and did not offer M one of her own.
But M was plenty distracted with the thrill of seeing Asagwara and Joshie there, and sat down to the right of her newest friend. "I hadn't expected to see you," she said to Joshie. The girl seemed a tad preoccupied, her tongue between her teeth and her eyes focused on some spot near Val, but she offered M another distant smile.
"Nor had we," Asagwara murmured, sipping from a steaming cup close by his dark hand. M politely tried to meet his eyes, though she thought fearfully, Nearly his whole face has turned... Indeed, the boy's soft skin had given way to silvery stone that covered most of his cheeks and forehead and was hastily creeping down his neck. "Pay no mind to my face, Lyra, it's hardly a concern of yours." He said this last part with complete calm, though something tickling M's mind told her he was scared.
"Val, why didn't you tell me? Why are we all together with you, anyway?" M turned from the boy and frowned over at the man who now had his shiny black shoes crossed over each other on the tabletop.
"Eh, well," Val smirked, his pinched voice smoothing to velvet, "Duygu's orders. Hup-bup-bup!" he interrupted as the start of an inquiry burst from her lips. "You need not know further. I personally believe it would be best if you learned with your, uh, say, friends, so as to ensure your cooperation. I've been told there's a lot of complaining in your head about wanting to be with them."
M huffed agitatedly. "Oh, my cooperation, huh! I already know what happens to people who don't comply with what you want!" She gestured furiously at Asagwara, whose eyebrows were raised, and felt a rush of guilt and anger and embarrassment crash over her like an ocean wave. "Yeah, I want to stay with them! With him! I'm not about to let anyone steal away the thing they gave me in the first place, no, and I'm going to make sure that Asagwara gets his back! It's not his fault he wants to go home!!" Her face burned hot, but no tears prickled threateningly at her eyes like a volcano waiting to erupt. Val blinked mildly at her, and he had straightened in his seat for only a moment before relaxing again. He shrugged.
"Oh, M," said Joshie sympathetically, "it's not much use blowing up at Val. Won't get upset, he refuses to. He's a bit of an arse, I think you know that."
"A bit, sure." M clutched at the soft black locks of her hair that fell around her shoulders and let out a quiet moan of internal rage that reminded her of the time spent in Mr. Patel's class - and every other class, for that matter.
"Why don't we begin training M?" Asagwara announced loudly, putting down his cup a little more dramatically than necessary, as the liquid inside sloshed over the edge. M felt it pool warmly around her fingers as it approached the end of the table, and a bit dripped onto the floor.
"Asagwara, wait," M whispered. Her hand, of its own accord, it seemed, moved to rest on top of his darker one. "I wanted to ask you something, and it's terribly important." His skin was soft, strangely hot in the cool of the underground. She looked down, seeing their hands touch, and saw the faint lines creasing their young skin. She could see bruises on him, now, her gaze traveling up his arm, and one thin scar that slashed across it near his elbow, strangely white against his brown flesh...
Asagwara pulled his hand away after a moment. "What." His face was, quite literally, stoney and emotionless.
"You know how I didn't like you when I met you," said M, and he nodded slowly with a ghost of a smile playing at his lips. "Well, why... why did, when my distaste was very clear to me... why did I trust you? Why did I continue to trust in every blatant lie you told me when you still made me feel so... wretched? I know what trust feels like, and I rarely give it out. And I don't give it out to people I dislike. Not that," she added hastily, "I dislike you now. I... I understand the way you acted wasn't your fault. I hope someday to meet the real you, Asagwara." Her eyes darted over to Val, who was absently examining his nails, probably pretending not to be listening in. Joshie, stuck uncomfortably in the middle of her two friends exchanging words with each other, seemed to have her cup of tea glued to her mouth and was humming, as if to drown them out.
"Lyra, trust is a funny thing." Asagwara breathed deeply, taking hold of the handle on his own teacup, and lowering his voice to a murmur indicating confidentiality. "Despite my... state, we may call it, I knew perfectly well you hated me. What is unfavorable about Wedhn is that they have the power of control. Of course, Duygu does also, as they took control of me when I would not comply with them, but this is because they steal our power - in a sense - firstly. We, including you, yes, all are capable of inducing emotions or thoughts or feelings within an individual just as a Sorrowblossom is. I like to call it... rather than mind-reading..." He restrained a laugh. "I call it mind-writing." At M's disapproving frown, he went on, "Look, Lyra, I didn't have a choice. Duygu thought it would be easier to get you to Fortunia if you trusted me, were willing to meet with me privately and such; and since Wedhn can not interfere with the feelings you already had, such as your blatant dislike of me, it was the easiest way."
To Asagwara's right, Joshie finally put down her cup. She brushed her blonde hair away from her bright orange eyes and stared determinately at Val across the table, avoiding contact with her associates. She was making a very slight gesture towards the man, and whispered from the corner of her mouth, "Honestly, you two, you shouldn't be talking about this right now because Val is Duygu's favorite pet, alright?"
"Training, are we doing that, then, children?" Val burst out abruptly, jumping to his feet and clasping his olive hands together. His rouge pink eyes were sparkling with pure excitement. "Ah, Mistress Lyra, how I've been in anticipation of this day since the moment you were born! Hopefully, I might add, you will not be such trouble as our young man Asagwara was." He smirked, and at that instant M desired nothing more than to sock him square in his perfect pointed nose.
No, Lyra, Asagwara thought strictly at her. She hissed and had to bite her tongue to stop a string of insults from spilling out of her. M felt that since she'd first gotten into this mess when she met that boy, all she'd ever felt was rage and sadness...
"Why does everyone in Fortunia lie so much?" M blurted. Joshie clapped a hand to her mouth and Asagwara seemed dismayed. "I don't see any reason to lie to me or anyone else at all, when I have found and will find out the truth in the end, anyway! So if you think about it, Valen, all of this is a load of-"
"That's enough." Val's tone was cool for the first time. His plucked black eyebrows had nearly met at the center of his forehead, tight lines forming in his skin as they adjusted accordingly to his mood. "I recommend we begin before anything else... unfortunate... spills from your mouth. However, I will give you one warning and spare you Duygu's wrath. For now." He rested his elbows on the table, the baggy cloth of his dark blue jacket making an odd squeaking sound. His face had suddenly become much closer to M's; she could almost see the small pores in his olive flesh, the tiny imperfections dotting his face. A few greasy blackheads ran across the sharp bridge of his otherwise flawless hawk nose. "Do not slip up again. I rather like you, Lyra, it would be quite sad if a little distorted truth got in the way of your" - he moved closer still, practically breathing down her neck in a calm voice disguising his menace - "complete cooperation." Val pushed himself up and stood at the head of the table, clasping his hands together again as if he had said nothing else. "We train, children!" he repeated cheerfully, but M could have sworn she heard a certain edge to it.
Joshie and Asagwara stood up simultaneously, their chairs groaning ominously as they scraped against stone, and Joshie put in, "Absolutely." There was another weird tickling at the back of M's mind.
"The thing about Duygu," Asagwara muttered in her ear as the three of them followed Valen into his sitting room, "is that they enjoy playing with you, like a cat plays with a mouse before it pounces." He walked away from her and positioned himself in a wooden chair that had a golden cushion, crossing his ankles.
"Now, as you know, we have a newcomer. Mistress Lyra Desjardins, as she is called." Val did not sit, but leaned against the stone wall. M could see that there were two identical armchairs, one occupied by Asagwara; a three-seater couch with golden cushions like the chairs, where Joshie had chosen a spot; a smooth, round, small wooden table in the center, currently bare of anything but a pocket-sized book - something was telling M to pick it up; and three paintings, one on each wall lacking a doorway... The first depicted a realistic image of a rouge eye, just like Val's, the picture had minuscule words written inside that M couldn't have read without getting closer and appearing suspicious. The second was vertical, showing a dark person whose face was shadowed holding a finger to their lips. The words, he will lie were written conspicuously across the bottom in all lowercase letters. And the third... M wasn't sure quite what it was. It was the smallest of the trio, square-shaped, and had many multi-colored blobs of paint dabbed across it. There was a dart in the left-bottom corner, where an even tinier grey dot was, and it seemed that a red liquid was dripping thickly off of the sharp point. A slip of paper had been firmly pinned to the frame with an additional dart.
"Did you make those?" M asked.
"What? Oh, yes, no, ah - goodness." Val took a moment to compose himself and stood rather purposefully in front of the third painting. "Mm, well, I painted one of them myself, it's that one over there, and the others were given to me. The, uh, this one I'm closest to is a sort of... apology letter, ah-ha." The man had gestured to the figure with his finger to his lips as the one he had created himself, and at the final sentence of his explanation, his laughter had been forced and dry.
"Alright, continue on." M sat beside Joshie again and leaned back. To her pleasure, Val seemed shocked that she had not questioned him further and it took him another moment to straighten himself, brushing his hands compulsively against his jacket and pants.
"So!" he exhaled, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. This will be very quick, I promise. Mistress Joshilynn and Sir Asagwara took on the practice with ease. Let me demonstrate, Lyra... ah, Mistress Lyra... Think of something for me..."
M aggressively thought at him, Val has the disposition of a querulous cockalorum and is a complete lickspittle, so frankly I'm unsure why Duygu likes him so much. When she was younger, she had often heard her parents use words like these when referring to people at work; M had no idea what they meant but could care less if they were awful.
Val forced out a second laugh. "Right, right, uh that was quite good, quite good, but Mistress Lyra, this time think of something unrelated to the person you are attempting kind communication with. You see, Wedhn can communicate easily through mind-reading when addressing each other, but it is a bit trickier to peer inside one's mind when the subject is not thinking of something related to you. Watch me as you think..."
M carefully watched his face as she thought about a topic completely unrelated, which was difficult to pull off but she could manage. I really could go for an ice cream right now... Actually, I'm starved, can't believe it was only this morning I was home for breakfast... As she thought, she found that it was true. M at last noticed the empty feeling in her stomach, but didn't bother to tell anyone. It couldn't matter much. So M focused on Val, seeing and feeling his rouge eyes bore into her, and it almost felt like someone was prodding at her brain, poking around at her private thoughts. It was a... a sort of tickle...
"That's enough, I've got it," snapped M, and the pure concentration twisting up Val's face instantly vanished. He blinked rapidly, a stray spider-black hair falling onto his forehead as he did so for no apparent reason. Without asking first, M fixed her own concentration on Val's mind, and images began to form in front of her... There was a door, a merlot-colored door, deep in shade as the wine, and a curly golden handle was attached to it. M walked closer... but there was something in the way, like the invisible barrier she had encountered earlier... She pushed forward, until... until, with sweat quickly running down her face, she made it to the door... M rested on it, her hand on the ice cold handle that sent chills up her arm... Finally, pushing harder still, she wrenched it open and went inside...
It was dark, an endless space without the reassuring glow of stars. There was no warmth, no color, no life. M felt as if she were trapped... She drew a short breath... turned, panicking... but, oh, the door was still there... Then... there was someone coming, coming closer, scampering on four dark grey paws? M gasped and darted back a few steps... a Mouse was there, a jagged scar etched across his skin, as if someone had swiped at his jaw... No, what is he doing here, he can't be here, he can't be, no, a voice shrieked in terror. M felt her stomach drop as if the ground had abruptly disappeared beneath her... suddenly she was falling through empty air, the dot that was the Mouse becoming farther and farther away...
She snapped back to reality.
"How dare you?!" Val was screaming. M saw that he had jumped onto the couch, now brandishing the biggest painting he had done himself as a weapon, and Joshie was on the floor.
The creature M had seen... Had that been in Val's mind? Were those his thoughts she had heard? Had... she done it, on her own, for the first time? M knew without wondering aloud that Val had kicked her out, for she had entered a forbidden, private area, and for some reason, now, he did not want her to see what he was thinking...
For a Mouse had appeared in the sitting room. The beast was only about the size of M, but Val seemed to be utterly horrified at the sight of it. He continued to hold out his painting threateningly, his hands shaking, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish while no words came out.
It turned its head slowly to look at M, and she started.
"'Owell Cohrbihn 'are," the Mouse announced himself, "a' yer service." With a wink and bared teeth he added sarcastically, "I'm the biter." He extended his human-like index finger and smiled, making the scar that stretched jaggedly across his mouth form a shape that looked like lightning. "It's no' my faul' these look like food." Then, he shrugged. Howell's fur was short and dark grey, though it still managed to be unkempt. His irises were as black as night, the whites of his eyes so yellowed that they could hardly be called whites at all. Bandages had been wrapped carelessly around various wounds on his arm and hand - one could tell by looking at him that someone had taken more bites out of him than he had taken out of a ten-year-old boy centuries ago. Howell was also wearing a dirtied piece of light grey cloth tied securely around his waist, his Mouse tail jutting out of a hole in the back. He was strong, and seemed hardly as insane as Val had made him sound, but he was also scarred. M could tell that this teenage boy had fought in as many battles and skirmishes as she had gotten paper cuts, which she had gotten likely dozens of times. Yes, those battles had taken their tolls on Howell, but the Mouse dared not show it.
"You're alive," M breathed, for she hadn't believed it.
"Sadly, yes," he beamed at her. Then his gaze shot back to Howell, his unnervingly large black pupils taking him in.
"You know you're not allowed in here!" Val dropped his painting to point the trembling index finger of his right hand at Howell's dark grey snout. "What are you doing here!" It was less of an inquiry than a stating of the obvious.
Howell made a noise that must have been a chuckle, some combination of a bark and a squeak. "Did you wan' me to eat yer other one, too?" Val immediately withdrew his finger. "Valen, you know why I'm 'ere. I'm 'ere for the girl, of course, to warn 'er, because we Mousen have fairly large ears if you 'aven't noticed, and they do 'ear quite well. Duygu's got a plan, you know tha' too, mate, and I'm no' abou' to let you distrac' the poor child from what's really 'appening down 'ere in Fortunia, yeah?"
M exchanged glances with Joshie, whose bright orange eyes were wide in shock, and Asagwara, who had not uttered a sound and was completely stone-faced in both senses. He was unusually calm, even, his hands folded in his lap and his head directed towards where Howell stood, his chest heaving. "What?" she murmured, so quietly that she didn't think the Mouse had heard her. His wild eyes returned to her again and his bandaged paw twitched as he swayed unsteadily.
"Sorry, mate," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. Asagwara will tell you when the time comes, but I can', I can' do it... jus', jus' remember me, mate, alrigh'?" He stared pleadingly at M, now falling to his knees, clutching at his head, clawing at his furry ears in distress, and she put up a wary hand to stop him.
"Howell, I don't understand -"
"Shh," Asagwara said. He put a dark finger to his lips, looking much like the man in the painting, and tapped the wooden arm of his chair. "They're listening..." He let out a soft breath, beckoning M closer to him. She moved forward, ignoring Val's grunts of alarm as he hid behind the couch, ignoring Joshie as she made to block her way, ignoring Howell even as he collapsed on the stone floor in an exhausted heap of nerves, for she had focused herself entirely on the boy who had started it all...
Before she had reached his side Asagwara was grasping M's hand in his own, and a shock coursed through her veins as though she had been struck by lightning. Suddenly she was in his mind, suddenly she could see the dozens of Eyes glaring at her in the vast black space, and hear the frightened voices of those who had once owned them... Don't fight back! It's not safe! a woman yelled; Better to lose someone you care for than to lose yourself, a man muttered sadly... And M saw in the center the leader of Fortunia, Duygu, leering in triumph, a young man held limply in their jaws... Goodbye, Asagwara... the boy cried out, and suddenly he was snatched up, a dark shape amidst bright blood-stained dagger-like teeth, disappearing down the throat of the beast... No, no, no, another voice screamed, and it felt so eerily close that M thought it to be her own... She felt sorrow and loss and rage build up inside her, attacking her from within, it couldn't be, no, how could they do this, how could she have lost her best friend...?
It was over as abruptly as it began, and once more M was back in reality. She found herself squeezing Asagwara's hand with a kind of empathy and strength she had never known herself to have before, and the boy was squeezing back. His dark head fell to rest on the chair, his shock of rumpled brown hair drifting over his empty silver face.
"If I do as they ask they will not hurt my mother either," Asagwara told her weakly. M nodded, blinking rapidly, seeming to forget all about the three other people occupying the room with them that could hear and see as much as they wished...
"Why did you show me this?" M's own voice sounded strange to her. A tight lump was forming in her throat and it was rising upward, threatening her with wet tears or even vomit... she felt ill, and awful, and wanted Isaac.
"Perhaps it was not the right time," the boy said, staring blankly at the ceiling. "I... I thought it would help you understand, I-I... I know you're very confused, Lyra." He sat upright, his soft flesh still against hers, his fingers curling comfortably around hers, and he continued, his voice stronger now, "Look, Lyra, I deceived you against my will. But understand that as of this moment we are brother and sister united in this horror, and I will love you as I loved my best friend even if it was what got him killed." He faltered. "Oh, perhaps that sounds awful, I-I, I'm n-not much good with words..."
"I understand," said M softly. "You are quite the master of words, Asagwara Nenge, but you are suffering grief and that's okay. I didn't know. Thank you for telling me, and our mutual protection of each other shall be our love." She brushed back his hair. "Brother and sister, we are. W-We'll make it out."
She didn't have much faith in these final words of hers.
"I'll see you, Lyra," Howell was wheezing, his hand-like paws still twitching anxiously. "I'll see you, I will, and I'mma try my bes' to stop them from takin' 'im, yeah? Yeah?"
"I'm afraid I don't understand." M released herself from Asagwara's grip and sitting with her knees to her chest in the free armchair.
Howell was growing more frightening, his dilated pupils thinning now, the yellowing whites going red, and any cool he had had about him when he entered was slipping away from him. It was as if he was under attack. "Save 'im, gotta save 'im, kill, kill, kill, no no no no no no no no!" The Mouse stood, scratching furiously at his skull, drawing blood that trickled towards his eye, but he took no notice. "They're listening, they're listening, they know, Lyra, Asagwara, ya were righ'! I've g-g-gotta gotta g-go!" His chest was heaving so intensely, so fast now that M feared his heart might burst from it. She hadn't the faintest idea what was happening to the poor creature; Val was rocking silently on the couch, looking terrified, Joshie had her eyes on him and paid no mind to the Mouse, and Asagwara was making no move to assist, clearly deep in thought.
"Kill who?" mumbled M.
Howell became quiet immediately, the dark red blood moving down and bubbling as it reached the corner of his lip. His breathing slowed. "You'll see," he said calmly, but she thought she saw a tear mix with the blood on his mouth as he scampered from Val's cave.
"What did they do to him? Ah, Duygu, I mean?" M directed this to Joshie, who was looking only slightly less distracted than Asagwara as she chewed on her blonde hair, her gaze fixated on the shrinking man before her.
"Control," Joshie answered without looking her way. "Mousen aren't allowed near the Wedhn. Duygu knows when they are. Knows when they try to warn you..."
"But they're bad?" M's voice raised a note at the end of her sentence as if she were questioning the truth of it.
"Not all." As M had her attention on Joshie, she saw an image of Ehmohree flicker in her vision. She recalled what he had said to her about the Mousen, about his friend who had used magic for the secret tunnels... "No, not all - Val, that is not going to happen, pull yourself together!" Val jumped and whimpered pitifully.
"I'd be careful," Asagwara murmured from his chair. "Lyra, I can't say what Duygu may do, but be careful. They may be at the point of testing you... They tested me, as well. You saw." He grimaced, and for a moment his silvery face seemed human. M was seeing visions of the young boy in Asagwara's mind dance before her, seeing him die all over again...
The death of his best friend, as the cost of his being uncooperative.
"I'll be tested." M met Val's rouge eyes, which were very wide still, and she could see no sign of pity or compassion in them. All she could see, past that merlot door into the chamber of his thoughts, was a vast black world revolving around his own well-being. In his state of weakness and fear, M could easily see that all Val was thinking of was the possibility of losing his remaining index finger, and What shall happen to me if I fail Duygu? A surge of fresh hatred coursed through her body. Val cared for no one but himself and his vicious, merciless master.
The man climbed off the top of the couch and, trembling, sat on a golden cushion with his olive-skinned arm tightly gripping the armrest. He glanced at Joshie, who, M had finally realized, was searching determinedly through his brain. "Y-yes," Val admitted, combing back the many strands of greasy black hair that had fallen loosely over his forehead. "No point in hiding that while she's here, I suppose," he growled with a haughty sniff, referring to Joshie. "Nosy brat, get out of my head!"
M's friend looked very taken aback. "Brat? I beg to differ, sir! Since I'm thinking it anyway I might as well tell you aloud that I've known from the moment I met you, you were nothing but an arse and a suck-up!" She at last looked at M, her orange eyes shining with some pleasure of saying those satisfying words aloud, but they quickly dimmed again. Joshie's defiant grin transformed into a frown. "Ah, Lyra. Listen. If you do everything they ask for the test, they won't hurt anyone, okay? They brought my parents to Fortunia, had all us three answer a few questions, and I agreed to stay for a year for extensive training. If I hadn't, they might've killed my parents and turned me into... well, that." She nodded sadly towards Asagwara. Then she took M's hand in her own tanned one and she became serious. "The test is different for everyone. Some people go home fast, some stay for a while, and others never leave. I'm warning you, M, you've got to say yes to whatever Duygu offers. They wanted Asagwara to stay for a year like me, we both showed promise as Wedhn, you know, but he refused. Said he couldn't leave his mother alone with a monster. Duygu was furious. They killed his best friend, and threatened to do it to his mother too if he didn't accept after that. Duygu wants you to fail, that's the thing, Lyra. They want your power. And the Sorrowturtle is powerless to stop it even though it's her who wanted to begin her species anew in the first place..." Joshie looked again at Val, who seemed like he wanted to interrupt, but was instead seething with rage at being criticized so bluntly. Then she nodded and stood, dropping M's hand.
"I think I've got the hang of mind-reading, Val," M smiled at the man, and he hissed at her. "Mind-writing, I'll do it for homework, deal?" Her humor was empty, and only left a pit in her stomach. M was feeling worse than ever. As Joshie was poking at a small hole in the sitting room wall, the girl seized Asagwara's arm, pulled him up, and led him out of Val's cave without a glance back; Val made no move to stop them.
"Hang on!" called Joshie. She rushed to catch up with them, something cupped in her hands. "Where are we going?"
"If neither of you know what's going on," M said grimly, "I'm going to find out somewhere else."
"Teahdee?" Asagwara put his free hand on the stone wall as the trio swept past the dark pink curtains at the entrance.
M sighed. "He's the only one I can think of that I trust."
"Wait," Joshie said, halting in her tracks. She held out her cupped hands, which M had been wondering about to herself, and she opened them slightly. There was a beetle trapped inside, a bug with six short, white, hairy legs and a squat body the color of Earl Grey tea, which was shaped vaguely like a guitar or an instrument of the like. It had two sharp pincers like an ant's at its head that were a glowing red-orange of fire. The very tips were white-hot, it seemed.
"Wait for what?" Asagwara asked.
"I caught a Jallap beetle in Val's cave," grinned Joshie. The boy smiled, too, but M felt completely in the dark.
"Is that good?"
"Definitely. Better than Ehmohree, even!" Joshie's cheerfulness was somewhat contagious. She poked at the Jallap beetle and it squawked like a bird in protest, its thin, striped grey wings buzzing furiously.
"Why?"
"They're the biggest gossips in Fortunia, that's why," Joshie informed her wisely. "Always listening in, hoping to hear news of a fight, or of anything exciting, really - they would know about your test. Love violence and stuff."
As the Jallap beetle chirped angrily, the three friends leaned in, eager but nervous all the same.
M came as close as she dared to the tiny beast. "So... What's this so-called test for Lyra Desjardins?"
It froze.