Diary of a Neurotic Teen

Rants

WARNING: Read if you're ready to be swayed by the gust of rants and screams that I pour out on this page.

I'd rather nobody read it at all.LOL

Its not that my life is always disappointing but i rant when i feel disappointed. I dont write when i feel happy cuz of course i don't need to.

Loads of grammatical errors. No uppercase letters(well mostly). No sugarcoating it.

I don't know why certain things disappoint me so much.

Yeah its true I'm here, writing stuff instead of studying or listening in class cuz I aint at school.

Classes are off for 2 days due to extreme heat. Most schools are closed now.

RIGHT NOW THOUGH, the sky is dark and cloudy. Storm coming yeaaa!!!

Anyway, lets begin with an incident.i wasnt in my class photo of class11 as i was absent for some reason and i couldnt emphasise enough on how lonely i felt thinking people would forget me cuz i aint in some dumb class photo for the 1st time in life.anyway it doesnt matter now.but my bff tore her class photo when she received it cuz she hates her classmates and her eyelids drooped in the pic.

i didn't know what to say to her. she couldnt be emotionless of course. but the emotions we feel in different situations is so very different. when i melt, she cringes. when i get disgusted, she laughs.

 dead baby jokes?

she laughs at them and i get shocked. i hate it. her words seem downright cruel .

i dont get it. yesterday i saw her ex crush at the place where we fill our bottles with water. he seems cheeky. my bff used to slap him whenever she got angry for whatever reason. why like really WHY?ISNT that extreme?

she's wired for math and i dont think i am. yesterday my math sir seemed really disappointed in me. nobody believes in me anymore. nobody thinks i'm capable. in class,when i AM able to solve a sum they act like i just ate worms or something. but noone seems happy about me. whether i do it or not. i am so dumb. yesterday sir started off with integration and ovio i couldnt do it cuz i dont know the formulas yet and the science wizz kids could. i feel so so dumb.

TAKING UP MATH HAS BEEN THE WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

I felt worse cuz i think one of the girls who used to be my friends is happy that i got called out i think. i dont talk to her( call her P).P said i eat too much and yeah she wont stop talking about it cuz its the truth and i should accept it. then and there, i found myself crying at her words infront of the teacher. the teacher consoled me of course.(it was our geography tuition class). but i didnt take her apology and snapped at her. after that she ignored me and we stopped talking.

things improved much but she snapped at me in class.for no reason at all.

and we fought like kids. i dont want to fight but i dont want to deal with her mood swings and taunts either. she keeps asking me if im doing math at home. not the concerned for a friend way but the i cant take it if she scores better than me way.

so i think she felt smug that i got scolded despite my resolve to do better. i havent let my resolve falter yet though. i wont. i cant.

then there's a bossy girl in my class and she's always reading . i very politely took her book to see what the story was about and she was brusque in saying that i wont like stories like that cuz they are not for me.

COME ON.I Am NOT A DUMB PERSON! I AM NOT A BIMBO!(Oh wait- bimbos have looks at least)

i told her she needs to learn a lesson in humility. she didnt buy that.

all these taunts and snide remarks for NOTHING AT ALL is awful.

Am I DISAGREEABLE OR ARE THEY?