Okay, this is not funny in any way shape or form. If I stop replying to messages on either my Social media or private messaging it means that I am either taking a break, or I am not feeling to well to respond. Because I am being forced to exercise even though I am going through troubles with my own mind and my parents don't even see that. I mean I literally picked up a box of junk food and placed it back in the freezer 25 times because my mind was saying "Put that shit down, and get your fat ass in the weight room and lift ten pound dumbbells, you can barely even left five pounds. You used to be able to lift 160 pounds before you went to total waste."
Sometimes what you say to me hurts a lot and my parents don't even recognize that saying "Hey your coming down to exercise with us." Will change it as "Get off your lazy ass cause your going with us to get you back in shape."
My body is hurting to much, my lungs are probably failing to pump more oxygen then normal, and all you care about is HOW SKINNY I APPEAR! I MEAN WHAT THE HELL! I AM YOUR DAUGHTER! I try my best and when you say 'good job' it means something to me. But when you turn around and say that we are going to do this everyday then that means I didn't do good enough, I didn't do everything right. Am I not correct? Why can't you see that I'm falling behind because shackles are wrapped around my ankles and I am covered in locks and chains. I cry more then the normal person it's because my emotional state is nothing. I mean just looking at my eyes, they are not as bright when they were seven years ago. Seven years ago you could actually see stars in them. Just because I have acne doesn't mean you have to bash me when I haven't put medicine on, the reason: it's to sticky and my shirt would stick to my body.
Sometimes I may sound like a lunatic it's because I wanna try to be funny. But basically everyone stops and stared and I could tell what they want to say, they wanted to speak and say "hey where is the circus you freak."
Sometimes I think I am not good enough for anyone, that I won't be able to keep the smile long enough. I'm probably half way there to the finish line already.
I'll see or respond to you all when I feel better.
