*WARNING- TRIGGER/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK PLEASE*
Although I'm looking into Yatas eyes nothing can change the way I feel. Maybe I'd be better off not living, maybe it'd make everyone else happy.
"I'm sorry Yata," He lets go of my shoulders and covers his eyes with his hands.
"Is it my fault?" He Whispers sobbing into his hands as tears slide through his fingers. I reach out to touch him and he flinches.
"Yata, It's not- I'm just-" Yata turns around and begins to run away. I see him grab his skateboard but he continues to run. I turn to Saruhiko and he looks sad too. What have I done?
"I'm sorry," I Whisper and he looks up at me.
"I'm mean it's your life not mine, but as a child I just wish I had helped you when I had the chance." I smile and put my hand on his shoulder.
"it's okay, nothing could've been done. It's not your fault." He stands up and I smile.
"I know that tonight has been rough but I'm okay. Can I just ask to be left alone?" He nods and walks away quietly, I sigh and look around me. Maybe at this moment going home is a bad idea, but I need to check on Yata. So my walk begins and I'm silent, I wonder if mikoto hate me now?
—
I push open the door to Homra and I feel my self tense. Stupid left the door unlocked I don't know how many times he's been yelled at for doing that. As I turn the lock the lights turn on and I look over and Mr. Kusanagi is staring at me.
"I'm going to kill him when he wakes up," he sighs shaking his head and walking over to the bar.
"It was my fault actually," I Whisper and he pours himself a water.
"But, What are you doing awake at 2 in the morning?" I ask and he quickly reply's.
"I mean I could ask the same for you," I chuckle.
"Can I take the room key, I really need to talk to Yata." Izumo looks at me and pulls out the key that unlocks all the bedroom doors for emergencies.
"Maybe you'll get him to stop sobbing," He whispers and I feel guilty.
"That would be my fault too," Izumo shoos me away and I smile. I quietly tip toe up the steps and I see Totsuka standing by yatas door looking sad along with one or two others standing by their door. I hold a finger up to my mouth and unlock yatas door. I can hear his muffled cries and sniffles, Tatara Smiles and I don't know how the other members feel but I know they aren't happy with me. I open his door and quietly shut it behind me. I turn on his light and hear him freeze as if trying to hide his tears. I feel my eyes swell up and tears silently fall, I can't even stop them.
"Yata," I say calmly turning from the corner he looks at me but breaks eye contact and tears stream down his face.
"What do you want?" His voice is raspy as he looks away from me.
"Yata, I'm so sorry." My voice cracks as I try not to break into a sob. He looks at me and I can see the anger in his eyes.
"Why?" He says loudly.
"Why would you want to die!" He screams at me, and I know everyone had to of heard that because he breaks into a sob. I run over to him and get up onto his bed, I wrap my hands around him and cry into his shoulder.
"I know I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Repeat and he hugs me back. He breaks out hug and pulls away, he wipes my tears and smiles.
"I don't want to loose my best friend," I nod.
"You won't, please just don't be sad. I'm sorry." He looks at me with puffy eyes and nods.
"Okay," He says giving me a final hug and I get up.
"Goodnight Yata," I say turning his light out.
"See you tomorrow." He responds and I smile sadly to myself. I open his door and almost every member is outside of their rooms, except Mikoto. I hang my head down and run down the steps and sit on the couch. I let out a shaky breath and lay down feeling like I'm gonna collapse.
"I'll get you a blanket," Izumo says going back up the stairs, I smile and look at him.
"Am I welcome here?" I assume he doesn't hear me as he walks away. He comes back down with a blanket and puts it over me. He leans down next to me and smiles.
"Your always welcome home," I smile and with that he turns out the light.
