The sound of Struggle

So many people judge a book by its cover. Well you can actually judge me by mines. You'll probably get all your assumptions right. I wear baggy clothes. Never comb my hair. Its either poofed out all over my head. Or in braids. Or pulled back. My name is kajun but my friends call me kj. Typical Nigga name. I stand 6ft exact. I live in a little city . close to Bronx new York . not many people heard of it "toneka" ... It means struggle in Africa . I'm 16 & can sing my ass off . my mom won't let me join any plays or any theatrical activities she says she doesn't want me to end up like my father but I don't even know who he is . let alone why my talent has to be suffocated by his foolishness . nobody knows about my talent. But my mom And mike. I don't want any one knowing honestly. I just wanna make it somewhere in life and take my mom with me. So if it means I have to be on a stage Just so we won't struggle anymore, then so be it. Selling weed and pushing white ain't helping no more.

Its a rainy afternoon and the sound of car alarms and crack heads daily begging for a dollar routine , woke me up. Followed by my mom usual squal to get Me up for school .

"Kajun malik Roberts !" My mother yells up stairs . "coming ma damn !" I pulled on my sweats and threw on a T-shirt that was just laying on the side of my bed .

"I'm so tired of you Waking up late" she grabbed her car keys from the table "I'm getting you an alarm clock tonight!"

I looked down at the ground. I didn't want to see her stressed out face. My brother mike always wakes up on time, but never wakes me up. He's always done that to me. I don't know if it's because I'm adopted or he just honestly forgets I exist in the morning.

The smell of cigarettes hit my nostrils as soon as I opened the car door. All I could do was shake my head. "You promised" I silently murmured.

"Kajun shut up! I don't need your bullshit right now!" She slammed her hand on the Steering wheel and let out a soft sigh.

"Look. I got layed off last night" her voice started shaking. "They told me I've missed too many days and..." She stopped talking and wiped away her tears. "And what ma?" I anxiously asked. "And that I need to focus on my children more"

Her words shot through me. What do they mean focus on her children? Mike is 17 I'm 16. We can focus on our fucking self's.

I didn't say much the whole ride. When we got to my school. Police were sorounding it and yelling. Nothing new at all. "Listen. Don't tell mike please. The last thing I need is him ripping me a new" I rolled my eyes. "Man fuck mike ma. You needa stop fearing him" I slammed the door.

I could hear my mom rolling down her window as I walked away "I love you kajun"

I turned around and sighed. "Yea. Love you too ma"

As she pulled off I started walking towards the crowd of police.

"How is that nigger her boy?" My ears heard one of the officers whisper. "I heard she found him in a bread basket by pigs BBQ shaq" the fat one added. They all started laughing. I stopped walking and looked at the fat one.

"Actually fuck face. She found me in yo mothers bedroom. Piping her fat ass down" I scoffed.

A skinny officer started laughing. "What the hell you say to me boy?" The fat one growled.

"I said Your fat ass mother took this nigger dick right in her ass!" I balled my fist up and made sure they were tight.

"You better watch your fucking mouth nigger!" He yelled. The other officers grabbed him. "Let it go frank" the skinny one tried to calm him down.

Every since I was 7 everyone has taunted the fact my mom is white. I can't fucking understand why tho. Without thinking twice I hurried up and walked towards the school doors.

"This not over you lil Nigga boy!" I heard him say. After flipping him the bird I opened the door showed my ID to the security guard and kept walking.