Stealing The Show (Such Sweet Sorrow Trilogy, Book One)

14

I WONDER IF there's some kind of class you take when you turn into an adult where they teach you the Very Disappointed In You word-barf speech for kids who are in trouble.  

Because that's what The Count gives us in the booth inside the Pancake House. Anybody who has ever been in trouble as a kid, anybody who has ever gone to a school, ever, knows exactly what his speech sounds like. It's full of Unacceptables and Dangerouses and Irresponsibles. He does lots of dramatic pauses and the three of us just sit there and wait them out because if we say anything back it'll just drag it out longer.  

The weird thing about this version of the completely ineffective scolding speech is that we're in an awesome diner, in Utah, and we're scarfing down amazing pancakes.  

But we're also silent because we know it's over. We're caught and the adventure is ending. It kind of sucks that Paps didn't think about me getting caught by other adults and failing to spread his ashes. It's like a big gloom that sucks way worse than anything The Count can spout off. 

It all makes sense how we got caught, finally, though. When Jubilee didn't show up at home after the fake performance in the warehouse district, The Count went over to Lacey's house. I'm sure she kept him busy for a while, but The Count does like to keep everything monitored, so he probably just called Shoe's parents or my parents, or he might've just asked Lacey's parents about the midnight show.  

Of course it all came unraveled pretty quickly, and once they got to my parents they figured out where we were going and what we were doing. When none of us answered phone calls from our parents, The Count made Lacey leave that message about coming to The Pancake House to lure us, and then he hopped the earliest flight here and sprung his trap.  

Apparently there were cops in all kinds of Western states who'd been alerted, too, but the fucking Count's precision outdid them all. 

It sucks. I was feeling the most alive I've ever felt, and our parents were freaking their shit and doing everything they could to prevent that very feeling.  

I mean, when we grow up do we forget that feeling of being alive?  

Because adults can be maniacs when memories are being made. I mean, it's not like we were robbing banks all along the way or anything. We were just riding in a car, and it was awesome. 

Anyway, it's over.  

But I don't feel half as bad as I should, because Jubilee and I held pinkies and that has to mean something. And whenever The Count says something totally stupid, she steps on my toe like she's pushing a gas pedal. It's hard not to laugh right in The Count's face. 

The Count says, "All of you will be facing severe punishment when we get back home. [And here he gives an overly long dramatic pause.] You can count on this. [Again. Pause. Eye contact with each of us.] I've spoken with each of your parents and we all agree that nothing like this will ever happen again." 

He looks tired, with these big bags under his eyes and his face all papery, like he has been awake for an entire day. Which he probably has.  

"We're heading back immediately. We'll be buying plane tickets at the airport and you will all be paying me back for them in due time. With interest." 

"What?" Jubilee says. For some reason, she decides this is worth protesting. "Why? What about Eeyore?" 

"Who?" asks The Count. 

"Lewis's car. We're just leaving his car in Utah?" 

"The car is irrelevant. All of your parents have agreed that you all are to come home with me today. Tomorrow is a school day. And I'll take the keys, Lewis."