Don't Look Back - A Niam Horayne Love Story

Chapter 1 - Hiding The Truth

I stared into the sitting room of the broad house, a small smile etched onto my face. I felt an overwhelming sensation of pride for the two boys in there, laughing and talking to their families. They had overcome so much to get here.

As if on cue, Louis wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders, pulling him in tightly to his side. Harry slung an arm around Lou’s waist, letting his body relax onto the older lad. I had to resist letting out a sigh at how perfect they were together.

They had gone through all the torment of coming out, even though they were international pop stars and had no idea at the time that they were in love. They went through the torture of realizing they were in love with their best mate. They had the emotional stress of hiding their feelings, and then the pain of wondering what the rest of us the band and their families would think. But through it all, they somehow managed to find their way back to each other, and now they were cuddling in front of me, sharing their happiness and love with everyone.

They had the courage to do what I was never able to push myself to think about: tell the truth.

I was deeply in love with my best mate as well, but I didn’t bother hiding it. For God’s sake, we all know I’m a horrible actor. I just told him, and I was lucky that he’d started falling for me as well. Niall Horan was my dream boyfriend, and I was ecstatic that I could call him mine. But it’s not like anybody knew that.

The excited mood seemed to fade from the air around me as I fell deeper into my thoughts. I loved that boy so much, but it didn’t feel the same as when we first got together. There used to be fireworks at every touch, bombs with each kiss, butterflies whenever he looked my way or I heard his name mentioned. Those reactions had died down now, but I knew I loved him. It was probably just the initial tension fading, as it did in all relationships.

My situation was quite different than a normal lad in love. Not only was I in love with my best mate, and he was a guy at that, but nobody, apart from us, knew we were together. And in order to cover up any suspicion that would be aroused by the public when Louis and Harry announced their love, I had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who suspected nothing and had no clue I wasn’t faithful or even straight.

Her name was Danielle, and she was beautiful. She was everything I would’ve wanted in a girl, that is, if I were interested in anyone other than my Nialler. We complemented each other’s personalities, and she looked quite like my celebrity crush, Leona Lewis. Her chocolate curls fell perfectly across her shoulders, her makeup was just right, her eyes smoldered when they met mine, and my hands fit on her waist like magic. But she just wasn’t for me. However, I was too afraid to tell her that and break her heart and hopes. That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a gentleman, but I didn’t know how much longer I could take pretending I was falling for her when I was in fact thinking of a certain crystal-eyed band mate.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by sudden warmth around my waist and a face nuzzled into the side of my neck. I knew that scent. “Niall,” I breathed quietly, sighing.

“Li-li,” he responded in the same tone I had used.

I turned to face him, his arms still surrounding me and his body pressed to mine. As I swiveled, his innocent baby blues met my brown orbs and I noticed his messy hair, as if he’d run his hands through it one too many times as always. A contented smile spread across our faces as we just stood there, engulfed in the feeling of each other.

We didn’t get much time like this, just enjoying each other. We were always hiding the truth from the world and the other lads, so if a soul was around we never lost control. We only had the limited time we could get when we shared a room in a hotel, or the others went out, or it was late and they were asleep. It wasn’t really enough, but there was nothing we could do about it.