The Lost Dancer

Lost again

Nicole POV~

Running up to the porch I quickly approached the door with caution, being as silent as I could muster I pushed upon the back door praying for it not to creak alerting my auntie of my awake presence that had previously sneaked out of the house and had returned at early hours of the cold morning. 

It was when I was getting changed into my lepoard print onsie to prepare for bed did the shocking realisation hit me harder than an exploring bomb shell- more like a nuclear war. I crumpled, my back leaning against my bathroom walls as I slid down onto the floor desprately trying to contain my sobs back into their prison cells. I tried to stop them escaping with the knowledge once the tears began they would be almost impossible to stop after all the pain has been building up waiting for my composed walls to come crashing down. I could not allow emotion to pass over me, not only would it awake my auntie but it would bring me back to my darker past and ruin all my attempts to forget.

But sometimes things can never be forgotten, and even through impossible circumstances the most important people should never be forgotten as they made you how you are with the knowledge of your limitless potenital and who you could be... how could I forget and want to move on. I willed for the pain to stop, concillers had told me numerous times that sometimes it is best to let time heal wounds, to move on and forget- but how could I forget the person who meant the most to me and caused me to fight each and every day so hard for my dreams. I had to keep my promise, but without it- my locket- how could I remember her. Through my tear-stained eyes the blurry visons occured. Staring off as just flshbacks but drawing me in to the vivid past, losing her again and reopening the scars. I had failed her and not only have I lost her, I lost the only thing that made me feel close to her once more.. The thing that held all of our happy memories. The time where I was a carefree child ignorant of the damaging train crash of the track ahead in life and unaware of the harsh destruction we called life. The thing that force me to fight and as I lay there in a circled up comforting ball, as a mess, my body went limp. All the fight that kept me strong for so long had drained out leaving behind a numbing pain. 

-sorry for the late updates the holidays are coming up soon so I should be able to update more. Hope you like the chapter, sorry it was just a filler but I felt this chapter was necessary for later on in the story. This chapter is still waiting to be edited so sorry about any mistakes.