Stars, Seas and Skies

XI

I hesitated and contemplated if I should go inside or not. Obviously the aura gave me a strange feeling, like I haven't been there in years. But that aura also suggested me to go inside.

I hated my guts, but those somehow the reason why I felt intimidating, nobody would dare to do something they are not supposed to do. And here I am. Finished doing all the things I am not supposed to do. I am free.

Cowardice was next to confrontation. Cowardice was next to failure. Cowardice was not giving yourself a second chance because you are too afraid too fall down to the depths again.

I opened the door and crept in over so quitely. I didn't want to look like a robber. I tried to make my sound as faint as possible. I tried to tip-toe through the hallway.

But my legs go the better of me, they landed down to the floor, probably exhausted from the running I haven't done in quite a while. I was always locked inside that prison.

I felt somebody back hugging me really really hard to the point I couldn't breathe. And I was exaggerating. I tried to calm down. I tried to turn back and see who it was. My heart was beating very fast at this point.

My eyes widened. I was in utter shock that I couldn't let my mouth spill a single a word. I was too afriad to realize it was true, thought it was a mirage. I was too afraid that I thought I was hallucinating. I was too afraid to let it all go. I didn't leave him. I didn't want to let him go. I was too afraid that I thought it was my brain tricking me and when I open my eyes I would find no one.

I tried rubbing my eyes. I could never believe this. He had been here this whole time. I rubbed my eyes a little harder until I could see the endless and minor galaxies in my eyes. I swear time stood still at that very moment.

"Stop rubbing your eyes that hard, or else they are going to fall off" He said, I heard his voice crack. I couldn't blame him, My voice would have cracked too, not because of puberty but because my emotions won't be able to hold strong in this situation. That would probably explain why I couldn't talk.

He hugged me tight, and I embraced him too. I heard all the cries he tried to hold in for so long. I couldn't help but feel sad myself, I tried to hold back my tears but my emotion got the best of me.

I made myself silently cry because I know my mind would never hold back those many amount of tears. I let him break down in my arms. His heart was shattered too many times that it was too used to being mended again. And that got me thinking,
What is stronger than a human heart that keeps on breaking but still lives?

I wanted to pick his broken heart peices from the floor and put them together, but caressing him, comforting him, and letting him feel safe, something he hasn't felt for years.

I felt his body suddenly relax, I thought he was sleepy, so I quickly laid on the couch and him sleeping on top of me.

He looked so peaceful while he slept, he looked like an angel. He looked like the angel whose wings were too torn to fly. He felt at peace when I was with him. He kept himself together for so much time, he kept himself strong for so long. He kept him himself for the time passing.

I touched his back, and I felt all the scars he has had since day 1. I felt all the bruises he got. I felt all the wounds his tried to fix. I felt the trembling body above me. I felt his scars and scratches on his chest that explained alot. I felt that I was witnessing the bruises he had. Felt when he couldn't end himself so he cut open his wrists instead. When he fainted from blood loss, that was the closest he get to death.

Each and every scar spoke about his bravery and the way he acted. Each and every bruise shared the pain. Each and every wound told me a different story.

And it hurt, to see my best friend like this. I heard him calling my name when he was sleeping, I heard him say, " I miss you" He still didn't get over his sleep talking, eh?

I missed you too Haechan, I miss you too.