Shawn Mendes - Imagines

Chapter One

My hands firmly clasp the cup filled with warm chocolate.
Even though it is a warm April day I needed something warm to fill my body.
It feels like everything inside me is cold for the last few days. If there still is something inside me.

I am wearing an oversized grey hoodie combined with a black leggings since I planned on doing something else than sitting surrounded by my baggage alone in a café filled with strangers.

A tear runs down my face as the feeling of being a failure and abandoned comes up again. Immediately I wipe it away since crying in the public would show everyone how lost and weak I am.

I concentrate on the conversation the two women next to me are having, still not looking away from the cup in my hands.
Maybe to push my own problem away.

They do not notice me or just do not care about me like everyone else inside this café.
But honestly who would?
I hide my face behind my hair because I feel tears coming up again.
What am I supposed to do?
My eyes are getting red and wet. I bit myself on the lower lip to stop the tears. I am not allowed to burst into tears in public. That is a child thing, not a grown-up one. The grip around my cup gets stronger as I feel a big hand laying gently on my shoulder.

"Hey, honey?"

My brain needs a few moments to recognize the familiar voice.
I put one strand of hair behind my ear to face him. While staring at him I feel the blood spreading in my face.
This can not be real...
His brown eyes look like they were dipped in the sun.
Somehow this reassuring warmth reaches my heart. Delight and bliss run through my veins.
Feelings I started to forget.

I close my eyes for a second to get out of the trance. Before I can say anything, I wipe the tears out of my face with the big sleeve of my hoodie.

"Hi."

A small but honest smile appears on my face and it contagious him.

"So I actually came up to make you smile but I did not know it would be that easy."

That makes me laugh.
He clearly saw that I was crying but instead of wanting me to tell him what is the matter, his plan was to make me smile. I get even more red by that thought of this selfless careless.

"Thank you."

He points on the chair infront of me with a questioning look on his face. His real face.
The face of the person who wants to cheer me - a stranger - up.
The face of the person who I admire for so long.
He takes his seat and looks at me.

"Not for that."

This words escape his mouth with a little smile.
He speaks slowly and calmly just as my mother did when I hurt myself back in my childhood. Even though I am not a child anymore, the effect is still the same.

Without any fast moves he runs his fingers trough his voluminous, dark hair. My sight follows his hands which he lays intertwined on the table near to my own hands. The left one laid on my shoulder.
It covered my whole shoulder because it is that big.
His quiet grin let my sight wander to his mouth.
All the melodies and lyrics which are with me for so long which are a big influence and inspiration to me come out of this mouth.
It is a weird thought but it is the truth.
I feel him looking at me so I do the same. I always felt uncomfortable making eye contact with a stranger but not now. He is not even stranger to me. He is an inspiration and motivation.

"I... I really love your music, Shawn."

This just came out of nowhere but at the same time I think he deserves to know it. Moreover I do not have the chance to tell him that everyday. I would have regret if I did not do this.

"Oh thank you!"

He does not play his joy. His eyes really illuminate by my words.

"I really appreciate that,..."

A questioning look appears on his face.

"...What's your name?"

I feel a little embarrassed by the fact I know so much about him and he knows nothing about me.

"Sorry, I am Hannah... Hannah Engel."

"That is a beautiful name."

The quiet sound of our both grins is the last before there is this silence between us.
The silence is not even awkward.
It is like we are talking without speaking.
I push all the stuff happening around us to the back of my mind.
It is really him.
I should not be that starstruck because he is a normal human just like me but I cannot help myself.
  
Suddenly a cup falls down and a woman screams "Scheiße!" which makes both of us laugh.
Maybe him because he thinks that word is funny and me because I just laugh at anything if there is someone laughing with me.
Am I weird when I say that our laugh together sound like a symphony?

"So what are you up to with all the stuff around you, Hannah?"

The way my name sounds pronounced by him still laughing a bit is a way to pronounce it I have never heard before.
And I love it.
It feels like a soft touch on my skin. Like a little hug.
Like a warm and soft kiss.

As I finally find my voice again after loosing me in my thoughts and his look, I clarify why I ended up in this café.

I would say I am blessed in disguise.
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This is the exclusive first chapter of my book "Perfect Destiny".
Stay tuned for more!