Broken Eyes (shawn Mendes FF)

4

I knew that the only time i would let myself cry was when i was alone, it was something that my body had learned after all the hours of crying alone. It was something i hated myself for but i knew it had to be. At one point, when you are at your worst, tears running down your cheeks, your head buried in the pillow so no one can hear you, it will stop. When you feel like your whole world is crushing down, like you are going to die because of the pain in your chest, something will change. There will be a feeling of emptiness inside you and when you feel that everything is going to hurt the same but you wont be able to cry anymore. You won't be able to pity yourself anymore. You will realise something that you cant explain, something that opens your mind. It may sound like a good thing but it isn't, you will realise so much and all of that is going to tear you apart even more. The feeling of being broken is going to rip on your soul, the emptiness inside you will become your home. Or at least that's how i felt. I knew since i was a kid that there was something wrong, i forgot about it as i grew older but it came back to me a few years ago. Since then i was not the same. I wasn't the small girl anymore, the girl that believed in magic, happiness, true love. The pink glasses on my nose where crushed and the truth came out. Since then on the outside i was the same i tried to act the same but I became colder,darker and sadder. No one knew about it, apart from Emily but she was gone now too. I never met anyone who had the same pain in their eyes like i did...until i looked into Shawn's eyes today . They were cold at first look but if you look close enough you could see the pain behind them, the suffering.

I got ripped out of my miserable thoughts when Shawn opens a door i have never seen before.

"Your bedroom" Shawn says bringing me inside

"But that's not..." i get cut off

"It is now, i thought you would like it more than the other one" he says "Its simple but bigger than the other one...and it has a bathroom"

I look around the room. It was a big white room, it had a big double bed on the right side, a closet, a small cabinet with several drawers and a big window leading out to a small circular platform. On the right side of the bed was another door, that probably led to the bathroom.

"Thank you" i whisper sitting on the bed

"Shawn?" I ask

"Huh?"

"Your eyes...they look broken" i say without thinking

The second i finish the sentence i regret saying something. How stupid are you? I ask myself. I look at him and he was holding onto the door-handle. He looked tense but didn't say anything. I felt like his eyes were digging into me. After another moment of silence he opens his mouth.

"So do yours" he says and leaves the room

I....What? I was staring at the door. He didn't disagree with me. I shake my head in confusion. What ever just happened was not what i expected. I decide to go to the bathroom and take a shower and think about what happened.

                                     ***

Three weeks ago my last friend was killed. I remember it like it was yesterday but weeks passed. Most of the time i was sitting on my balcony looking at the woods surrounding the house. It wasn't like walking on grass but i got fresh air. I would stare into the woods for hours thinking about in my friends, my family, my home and Shawn. Shawn? What am i talking about? No i was only thinking about my home not the guy that kidnapped me...right? I didn't know. I was so confused. And i remember i was kidnapped more than a moth ago but no one found me. i asked myself if someone was actually look for me. Of course they are. I tell myself. They love you, they are probably looking everywhere for you. I reassure myself. But where even was I? In the middle of no where, surrounded by trees and nothing else. I sigh.