lose yourself » h.s

chapter 14

chapter 14

 "Stay away from him."

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I stared at my phones screen. What? And..what? What is this supposed to mean? So he basically just texted me, a criminal texted me, and he told me to stay away from...Daniel. The sweetest guy ever. Okay. I'm not confused at all. I mean is he serious? Have he even met him? And wait.. How did he even know we were hanging out? Oh god.

I sat down in my kitchen and shook my head. This "thing" is getting out of hand. Can I even call this a "thing"? I don't know what it is. I basically have a criminal after me, and not in a "i will kill you" way, I hope. I don't know what he wants but he's all over my life and now he tells me what to do. And, when I say something he gets mad rush out from my house? Where's the fucking respect? There is no. It's time to tell him I want him to mind his own business. But how do I say it? I mean I can't just tell him to "shut up" because he's a criminal. What if I send "shut up"? Maybe he and his gang shows up at my apartment and like stab me like ten times everywhere and then kill me. Great thought. 

I started to walk around nervously, I don't know what to write to him. It's soon 11pm. What if he's asleep when I text him and i'll wake him up and he gets mad? And kills me?

Oh god. I think too much. I don't think I can call Daniel right now.. I mean he just told him his story.. and I want help with what to write to a criminal. 

Then suddenly, my phone beeped again.

"Come outside."

And it was from Harry, again. 

My eyes became big. I swallowed. What do I do now? Like.. Should I go outside? I mean.. Is he waiting? But his last text.. I don't know what to do. I stalked over to my kitchen window and slowly pushed the curtain to the side. I slowly looked out over the.. not so quiet town. I didn't see him there. Maybe he's just outside my door? I took a deep breath and decided to just check what he wanted. That couldn't be that bad? If he wants to kill me then I just scream.. and run. I ran to my bathroom and checked myself out. I looked horrible after the whole Daniel thing. So I quickly refreshed myself by putting some new make-up on. I don't want to look bad in front of people. Especially not a criminal.  I slowly took on my shoes and took a deep breath before I quiet opened my door. I don't want Daniel to hear that i'm outside right now. Maybe he comes out, it sounds like something he would do if he heard me. I took the stairs down and suddenly I was at the front door. I slowly opened it and went outside. It wasn't that cold, but I didn't take a jacket. Stupid me.

Then I saw him and my heart jumped.

He was standing under a lamppost and did.. Nothing. Then, he saw me and waved at me to come to him. I swallowed and started to walk against him. Holy shit. What am I doing. Daniel would kill me if he found out what I was doing right now.  

"Hi" He said and squeezed his eyes at me. "It's hard to see you, but I bet you look beautiful"

"Uh" I swallowed. Does he have to say that? My knees get weak. "H-Hey"

Damn it. I stammered. I do that when i'm nervous.

"Are you nervous?" He chuckled. "Why?"

"I'm not" I said quietly.

He raised his eyebrows and chuckled again. "Okay, if you say so"

I swallowed and gathered courage. "So, what do you want?"

"A conversation" 

Really? Really? 

"Okay" I sighed. "Let's converse"

He laughed. "Is that even a word?"

I smiled. "I don't know"

We both became silent. We both just standed on the sidewalk and looked around. Until we met eachother eyes. I tried to see his eye color but it was too dark. But he was beautiful. His messy hair and mysterious face. And suddenly I was so close to him that I could smell what he ate for breakfast. My eyes wandered down to his small and.. very kissable lips. And then up to his eyes again, who was still staring straight in to mine. 

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" He whispered and I got goosebumps by the sound of his voice. 

I opened my mouth but I couldn't find words to say. I just slowly breathed out. I wanted to say "Yes", with my all heart. I wanted to smash my lips against his. I wanted to feel him.

But I couldn't. 

I slowly pushed away from him and looked down. What just happened, or nearly happened? I don't know what i'm doing. I didn't even know I felt this way about him. Or do I feel this? I don't know a single thing anymore.

I swallowed. "Converse it was"

Harry looked away from me. "It's still not a word" He murmured. 

And we became silent again, but not in the same way as before. This was an awkward silence when we both just didn't look at eachother at all. I slowly looked at him for a while but he didn't look at me at all. I ruined it. I guess that's a good thing. 

After a whole new level of awkwardness, we heard a sound that made both of us pay attention. Harry turned around quickly and looked around himself. Then he saw something that made him scared, I could see it. 

I looked at him. "Maybe I should go.."

"Yeah, you should" He said and didn't even looked at me. I mean even because I did what I just did, he can atleast look at me. And be nice.

"Bye then Harry" I said and shook my head. I waited for his answer, but he didn't say a word. He just continued to stare out on nothing. I quickly started  to walk away from him and when I came inside I realised that it was really cold outside. I guess I didn't notice.

When I came in to my apartment all the anxiety thoughts came. Why did reject him? Was it the wrong decision? Have I destroyed everything that we had? Did we even have something? But what about Daniel? Or wait, maybe I hate Harry? He's a criminal?

I lay down in bed and tried to shook of all thoughts when my phone beeped. A text from Harry.

"I'm sorry, I missed it. Goodbye Jenna"

And I just smiled. 

-

HI BABES

I don't know what to say, more than thank you. I never expected this story to get over 100k. You guys are seriously amazing. 

By the way, check out my bestest friends wattpad story and follow her @hemmoftw !! :-)

twitter: @distressmichael

BTW, I think Jenna and Harry won haha! Should we call them "Henna" or "Jarry", or something else? :-)

- A xx