The Killer Alpha Is My Mate..?

feelings

I told my mom to make everyone leave. I needed time to process everything. I needed time to truly understand. I felt dirty. I was waiting for my mate and yes I lost my innocents to him, at the time though I didn't know. Part of me is extremely happy that he is my mate. Another part of me is sad. He knew he was my mate, and he still had sex with me. I understand the mate pull. At least now I do. I just felt like I did something wrong, and i didn't like this feeling I had at all. I laid down in my bed and just looked at the ceiling. Thinking about everything that had happened since I have been here. I found my mate and friends. That is all new to me. At the same time I feel so lost. I missed my dad more then anything in this world. He always had amazing advice. The next week I avoided everyone like the plague. I did NOT want to talk to them. They understood I could tell that every time they looked at me they wanted to say something. But they didn't and I was happy about that. Even Mr. Reynolds didn't say anything. Everyone I looked at him I saw dark circles in his eyes like he hasn't slept for weeks. I was extremely worried I didn't like seeing him like that. I wasn't ready though and I knew that. I will talk to him. Just not now. I knew that if I talked to him now I would do one of the two things. Yell, or forgive. I couldn't decide which was best. I am angry. But I also know the goddess made him for me. He was my other half. Perfect for me. I already would give my life for his. But I need him to know he was in the wrong. If that means ignoring him for 2 weeks, 2 months, hell even 2 years so be it. I will NOT forgive so easily.