To the Bitter End (NatePat Oneshots)

Never-ending rain

A/N: Lets' start this shit-fest off with some feels yeah? Ending might be slightly confusing, as I have a more descriptive than narrative writing style. But don't fear, parts will contain plenty of dialogue. Just this one...doesn't. The song above was on repeat as I wrote this.

He used to always think the rain was a wonderful thing. Calming to say the least, not the rain with the loud booms and sharp cracks, but the kind that left a gentle patter against the window. It reminded him of time past. Each drop hitting the glass panel a memory of time spent with Him. It hurt Matthew to even remember his name anymore. Even still, the rain patters on, tapping gently like someone asking permission to enter his self-made façade.

                He used to think the rain was a pleasing thing. Watching the soft streaks of light through the sky, especially when it first started and the thunder was still far off sounding. Matt always said to Him that it would be his one wish, for the rain and lightning to come without the thunder, as he already had his other wish.

                He used to think the rain was perfect. Reflections of soft greys before the nighttime arrived; he never felt the gloom as many others described those rainy days. It made him happy, and if Matthew was happy, Nathan was too. Matt never told him he saw how he smiled when Nate thought he couldn't see, as he saw Matt's contentedness to watch the rain. Reflections do that for a person.

                Matthew missed those smiles, and he missed the eyes that he told everyone, "...are the only thing better than those rainy days..." Those days he no longer feels joy for.

                Matt stared out the window, sighing against the glass, resting in the little sitting area built out from under the window. He brought his knees up to his chest to wrap his arms around, leaning completely against the panel.

                He remembered it vividly; the fight, the hateful words, and the slam. It was moments before the engine started him, Matt sometimes wonders if Nate was waiting to see if he'd follow. He didn't, but he did go sit by that window. The one he barely leaves anymore. He watched as Nathan left, car lights fading out into the rain he once loved so dearly, almost as much as he loved Nate. Matthew would swear to anyone if they asked that his heart physically broke.

                He'd wanted to leave, wanted to follow his lover out into the rain. But he couldn't, couldn't leave this place he'd grown to know so well. The world was large, a fearful place full of darkness at every turn. Here, he could watch the rain in peace. Nathan couldn't understand this, and that sparked the crack that grew into a rift.

                So Nathan left, he'd drove for miles and crossed a state border, with no idea which it was. In the following weeks in this new city, he found a small apartment. He missed Matthew, but he couldn't stay there forever, he needed to see the world. Somedays, he saw the rain and thought of him, hoping maybe one day his lover would join him. But Nate knew it was just wishful thinking.

                It was eight months before something happened, a rainy day just as the one when Nathan walked away. He checked his mail as he did regularly, overflowing letters would just annoy him. Three bills, two advertisements, and one envelope with no indicator. He tossed all them onto a table, the unknown one sitting on top.

                It was a few hours before he became curious enough to look. Nothing but a return address he didn't know, and his address, he thought maybe it was another advertisement. Yet, his curiosity got the best of him, so he opened it. Onto the ground fluttered two things, a small Polaroid and a small letter.

                He picked up the letter up, ignoring the Polaroid when he recognized the handwriting. Neat little letters, making what wasn't really letter but instead two little words.

                "I'm sorry."

                He slowly set down the note and picked up the photo, realizing it was professionally taken. The Polaroid showed the back of a man too well, and Nathan had tears at the first thing he'd seen of Matthew in months. Matthew was facing an ocean, rain clouds above and droplets had obviously been on the lens. The drops were perfect capturing and helping to draw attention to the moment. The greys and blues flowed perfectly with one another. He stared for a while, before realizing there was something on the back and the bottom. Nate flipped it over and saw what looked let a phone number, not one he recognized to neither Matts cell nor home number. Under it was simply put, "If you forgive me."

                                Flipping back, he finally drew his attention to what was captioned on the bottom of the Polaroid. It was such a Matt thing to say, and he knew in that moment there was nothing to forgive, he already did that long ago.

                 "I find peace in the rain."

Word count: 860
Inspiration: Pintrest prompt and song as shown