amour • tyrus

chapter four

edgy young adult novel

• • •  

it's been a week since the conversation with tj. buffy has continued to warn us about him, and he has been adamant about talking to me again. i've made every excuse in the book, though, because buffy would kill me if i became friends with him, or even if she knew i willingly talked to him once.

it is so hard for me to be in this position. i don't want to talk to him ever again because i love buffy too much to do this to her. but on the other hand, if i can get him to leave buffy alone, or even be nice to her, everything would be worth it.

i raise my hand. i have to pee. mr. ramon, thankfully, has a very loose bathroom policy. most of the teachers freak out if like, two kids ask to pee, as if this natural human function is something to punish us for having, yet teachers can go any time they want.

i make my way to the grimy bathroom, and either by fate or absolute coincidence, tj is in the hallway. he is looking through his locker, so i try to sneak past him.

i think i made it.

"cyrus!" he yells in a whisper.

nevermind.

i reluctantly turn around and walk up to him.

"do you need something?" i ask, my eyebrow raised.

"yeah, actually. since you don't have that acting class anymore, we should do something after school," he suggests.

"are you serious?" i ask. my arm muscles twitch, which is certainly not my typical reaction. "why would i do that?"

"i don't know. i never said you had to. a simple 'no' would have been enough. i just had a lot of fun last week, so..." he looks away and returns to digging through his locker.

"sorry, that was kind of harsh. i just... i know you apologized to buffy but i can not, in good conscience, hang out with you until i know for sure." would i even want to hang out with him if the buffy situation wasn't an issue? i mean, last week wasn't that bad.

"i get it, dude." he turns towards me, holding his locker door with one hand and his books in the other. "just think about it. if you change your mind before the end of the day, let me know. but if you don't, i will take your absence as the answer." he smiles, closes his locker, and walks away.

x x

i spend the rest of the day considering his offer. i just don't want to make the wrong decision.

on one side, maybe if i go he will be less inclined to make buffy's life a living hell, but if i do and buffy finds out, my life will be a living hell.

if i don't go, my friendship with buffy is one hundred percent secure. however, i don't want to hurt his feelings, as much as i dislike him. i think i have already given him enough hatred to last a lifetime.

i should just flip a coin. heads i go, tails i don't.

i reach into my bag and open up my wallet.

toss. spinning, spinning, drop.

tails.

the bell rings and the day is officially over.

i think i'm going to tell tj how i decided because it's only fair. if i leave him hoping without even explaining myself, that just makes me a horrible person.