Battle of The Bulge, 1944-45

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December 1, 1944
One last, desperate attempt. Honestly I don't even know what the point of this battle is supposed to be. We have been beaten, that is clear to all of us. And yet here I am, here we all are. On the battlefield once again, one last time. It is hard to fight in the first place, but before there was at the very least a glimpse of victory for us. Now, here, we have no hope of such a thing. I don't really want us to win either, he told us we are the chosen peoples. The Aryan race, that we had a right to all we wanted. All that belief has been good for is death to too many. Far too many.
I am sixteen years old and about a month ago people came to my home and demanded I enlist in the army. That I fight for the Führer, and the fatherland. We don't really have a choice either we fight and die on the battlefield or we're fuse and get dragged to the streets and beaten to death. I wasn't told much about this operation, but as far as I can tell it's being kept secret. If I'm correct, this is the last desperate move for the Reich's offensive before we are swallowed up by the allies. Operation watch on the Rhine, as some of the higher officers have called it.

December 11, 1944
Oh god, what will become of us? It is currently just before it gets dark as night time comes that I passed by the officers tent. We have been moving under the covers of the thick forest of Ardennes, and moving during cover of darkness. They speak of a surprise attack against the allies, the objective is to capture the Belgian port of Antwerp and make it into another Dunkirk! Are they insane we will never make it! I am afraid for my life and the lives of my family that is still living on the countryside of Germany. I am still so young and don't want to die for something I do not believe in. We as a country are too exhausted to keep up the fight even if we break through the allied lines. We won't have the manpower or materials to keep up the fight. A hope is that the allies do not expect us, it is truly a surprise attack.

December 16, 1944
I am still alive to write this, if that is a good thing or not, I no longer have the ability to say. We made a great entrance taking the Allies completely off guard. I was part of the offensive and I can no longer even look at myself. I cannot sleep with a good conscious, I cannot eat without feeling sick. I have taken many lives today. Lives I do not believe I had the right to take. The battle field was chaos, there was so much blood and screaming. Their soldiers were going simply about their day, acting like my comrades and I do. They were flawed however, having far to much confidence in themselves. They did not realize that The Führer was being pushed into a corner, and that he would do the insane if it meant a chance to get out. To still have a chance of victory. Now their screams follow me wherever I go. Today we succeeded, but I do not now how long this will last, I do however now, that I already wish it was over. If not this battle then I wish myself as a being would end.

January 25,1945
It's over. It's been about a month or two, I suppose I should be grateful it's over now. As predicted we were beaten. I pray to any god that can be bothered that this is the last of it. I am retreating with what is left of the Third Reich's army. I don't know what happens now, I just want to go home. I want to go home, to the people I love. That is if they're still alive that is. I wouldn't know it's all been so chaotic. I wish I could just forget. I want to forget, to just lay down and go to sleep. Nothing else, just sleep; no dreams. Just a short time for my mind to be silent, and in a state of ignorant bliss. A moment of silence. Where I can forget who I am and what I have done. What I have seen. Time that isn't spent repeating the same question, over and over again. The same word that haunt's not only me but all of us. 'Why?'

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