My Spanish Love

Chapter 19

Chapter 19 by syaminhazam

Unedited

His word resounded in my mind for the umpteenth time. My mother was the one who raised the three of us, me my brother and my sister.

Being the youngest ones, I don’t feel the real pain of growing up without my father being around. My brother was always there, playing the father role.

Lola, my sister, she took the mother cap when mum passed away. I was only nineteen that time. Arlo, being the eldest takes the responsibility on his shoulder.

They went their own way after my wedding. Lola married her childhood sweetheart and now reside in Mexico while Arlo still single, becomes an engineer in London.

There are times that I want to contact them, relives the old memories but, it will do no good to them.

They raised me up like  princess, chasing away all sorrow from my shadow. I repay them by giving them heartaches as I run away, just to be with the man I loved.

They make it easy for me, didn’t let me feel they empty feeling of being a fatherless child.
Looking out, my gaze shifted to the busy road. The sound of car honking and the sound of engine zooming in and out.

Heaving out a deep breath, my gaze shifted to a sleeping Leo. He was so happy last night playing game with his buddy.

His face lit up every time Marcel called out his name or when he defeated him in his own game yesterday

Am I being selfish?. That question skimmed behind my mind. A cold breeze of air slapped on my face.

A week have passed since the day Marcel confronted me. Nothing much has changed since that day except for Mel occasional fun poking sense.

She knows what is going on between me and Marcel. The other staff might have suspect it too but nobody dared to question me.

Marcel act normally in front of the staff but when there is only the two of us, he is at his lovey dovely behaviour.

Tomorrow is my off day and it is my mum death anniversary, I might do two things. First, visit her grave and secondly, I have to see Bob.

He is the only one knows about my past and future. Bob is the only person in this whole wide world might know the best decision and the best person to advise me.

I couldn’t bring Leo, so I have arrange Mel to come over. She was ecstatic. She missed Leo too. She did asked me where am I going leaving Leo under her care.

I told her that I need to buy few thing and bringing Leo with me will just make him tired and bored.

I am still standing here,  few feet away from her tombstone, scanning the area behind my black sunglasses.

Clutching the white rose to my chest, I paced towards her grave. Sitting down, I plucked the stray grasses out.

“Mum, I cant be here long, you know the reason, these white roses are for you, from me and your grandson” my finger grazed the letters forming her name carved on the tombstone.

Standing up, I saw Bob, from the corner of my eyes. With a heavy heart, I walked away.

Carefully, I paced towards the church at the far end of the graveyard. I saw Bob sitting at the third left row.

Sighing, I took a seat behind him.

Without looking at me, he greeted me casually.

“How are you my favourite client,” he chuckled. His eyes trained on the book he is reading.

“fine, how is my favourite father?”
He chuckled.

“I’m fine.. so why is this meeting?” he turned his head to the left.

“I missed Lola and Arlo, can I call them?”

“No, it is still dangerous for them and you,”
I sighed.

“You chose this dear little one. I have advised you, told you the good and the bad side of your decision. Told you the rule too. It was for your safety” his feet tapping the hardwood floor.

“I know, so how are they?” I asked wiping away the tears from my cheek.

“Lola just gave birth to her second child last month, Arlo engaged to a beautiful English lady about your age.. the picture in the book, burn everything later as usual”

His finger tapped the book lightly, putting it down beside him. Bob always amazed me. He gained information about Arlo and Lola from his source but he wont take any money from me.

This is how we always meet, like a stranger. Whenever i want to meet him, I just need to pass a small note to Wendy, his wife who is working at a small diner.

“If you can turn the time back, will you do it?, will you turn it back to the time when there is only you, Arlo and Lola?” Bob asked.

My mind reeled back to the good old time. When there is only laughter and small kid problem that only revolves around school homework and the boy who you secretly admire.

“No, how hard it may seem, one thing for sure, there is a present given to me by this mistake that is right now the source of my strength,”

I can see Bob nod his head.

“ How is your boss,”

“ How?.. never mind.. you wont let me know how you know about him. What is your opinion?.. shall I tell him?”

“I see you as my daughter that i couldn’t have as you see me as your father that you have never met, right?” he inquired.

“Yes, but.. it’s so complicated, Leo like him so much and the bond between them is so strong,”

“if you really see me as you father and you love me... take my advice.. good luck will knock on your door only once but bad luck .. will keep on knocking until you open the door. Let him in.. your past is in the past, don’t punish yourself anymore. He accepting you with your son is a sign that your past doesn’t bother him. But, to tell or not its your call,” he stood up.

“ I need to go, take care and be careful,” he smiled as he walks past me.

Taking the book in my hand, my gaze falls on the picture of Lola and her family. The baby is so cute, she looks more like Lola.

The third picture was the picture of Arlo in his suit. He looks handsome. The girl beside him smiles at him as their gaze locked.

I missed them, but this is the sacrifice that I have to make. I made a bad decision and now I have to live with it.

One thing, bad luck will knock on until you grow tired and becomes irritated and opens the door welcoming it in.

Good luck, on the other hand will only come once, if you are late to open the door, it will be gone with the wind.

Is Marcel the good luck I’m waiting all these while? Or he is the bad luck that keep on coming in my life?.