Dear Park,
I am sorry. I know you've been my hero. You've been a great part of who I am today. I am sorry. For leaving you. For letting go of the wonderful us. It was great having a boyfriend like you. It was amazing. I wish I can turn back time. But I can't. It was not your fault. It was mine. I was scared of everything. My life, and you, being part of it. I wish I have wrote you this letter after the last postcard that I've sent you.
I understand that you didn't reply back. I didn't want nor expect you to reply. I don't know. I'm just tired of everything and I wanted to fix my life. I want to put my life in order. I don't belong in your world, Park. I can't and I won't let myself be the cause of your troubles.
I heard you have a girlfriend now. It hurts. A lot. But I did not cry. I can't cry. I wanted to but I can't. It's been what.. 4 years? I missed you. I longed for you. I was actually hoping that you'll come back here and have the courage to see me. But you don't. Still, I don't blame you, Park. I was just.. waiting and expecting you to do some things.. some wonderful things you used to do.
I've managed to take my family with me. Ritchie is in jail now after mom, finally, had strength to call the police and tell them that he's abusive. Thank God. It's been quite a while, and I must say, compared to the life I had it's much more better now. Mom is working as a cashier and I had baby sit and sometimes work in a supermarket. I am graduating soon and hopefully, will get a job. A real job.
I hope you're happier now. I hope you're not mad. I hope one day we'll be friends. Till then. I'll send you this letter.. Or maybe not.
Love,
Eleanor
