Your walk // Junhao [completed]

15

//im so sorry you all :(( also my ig account is juuliaollikainen and yes most of the language there is the mysthic language of finnish

Everything went black. It was like i was trapped in a dream, byt it wasn't like I even wanted to wake up. I knew if I would, it would hurt. I'm not sure what happened. A big crash? Maybe a car accident.

I don't know did I die. I can't tell even now. Only thing I heard was Jun yelling something long ago, until it went silent. I'm really scared of what happened. If I'm dead, I don't care that much. But if Jun died, then I'm in trouble, I can't live without him.

But if we both died? Maybe we can meet in Heaven. Yes, it would be nice. I really hope there is Heaven. I don't want to go where my dad went; Hell would be dirty place for Jun and me. Only the best for him. My dad deserves the Hell, he beat my mom and me but Jun hasn't done anything bad for me. Little mistakes but he treats me so well.

"Look! Di-did you see that! His finger moved!!" I hear echoing somewhere outside my head. Mingyu? He sounds like he is in panic. So,

Am I alive?

I try to move my body so I could finally wake up. I hear more voices, lot of people at the same room talking or more like crying like 'he is going to wake up' and 'finally'. I open my eyes and first thing what I see is crying Mingyu who looks so relieved and he hugs me. I'm little confused at first seeing other people including Jihoon, Soonyoung, Seungkwan and Joshua. "Hi-hi?" I get a voice from my dry throat. My whole body feels little cold.

"God, I missed you! You really are alive..", Mingyu sobs and others come closer smiling happily, but all looking tired from worry and crying.

I look at them furrowing my eyebrows. "I.. What happened?" I ask making Mingyu lift his head and grabbing my hand.

"You were in a car accident, Minghao. You slept two days and i- we were really worried, you scared me", he explains and I nod carefully. I see scars covered by bandages on my hands and I touch my face, feeling bandage in there too.

I shot my face to others. "How about Jun? Or Dongho? Where are they?"

Silence. Everyone looks down and Jihoon gulps as Seungkwan starts shedding more tears. A pain shots to my heart. Please, don't tell me...

That Jun..

"Dongho.. He.. He died. He was already dead when the ambulance came. And Jun...", Jihoon says and shakes a bit.

"Jun pulled you out of the car but.. He hasn't woke up since then. He is in coma", Mingyu says with a low voice, mumbling and not really wanting to tell. I look down onto my hands im fear.

"Jun.."

---

All the days I spent laying at the hospital bed I was thinking Jun. When I can finally walk, he will be the first person I'm gonna go. It's been like three days since I wake up and I have been just tired, nothing else. The doctor says that if I'm good tomorrow, he lets me go.

I really hope Jun wakes up. I have to thank him for saving me. I feel bad for ever saying that he only thinks about himself. I'm afraid if he won't wake up. If he gives up. He can't. I'm gonna remind him when I go visit him tomorrow after I get away from my room.

"Hey, Hao", Mingyu greets smiling when he comes to the room. Our friends are still coming here, every day and spending a lot of time here. We have been on news too and our 'fans' are sending flowers and other gifts. I'm really grateful.

"Hey", I force a smile to my tall friend. He sits to the bed and takes my hand sighing. He looks up thinking his words.

"I know you are worried. About Jun", he starts not even glancing me. "But don't worry. He will definetly wake up. He has you, why would he let go from such a gift", a smile spreads across his face.

"But what if-"

"Then God will help him. He will always be here anyway, being scared of him leaving is a wrong fear. You will never lose him when he is in our hearts and memories".

I'm mute for a while. "Why.." Mingyu finally looks at me, and my tears in my eyes. "Why are you talking like he is not going to survive?"

---

I finally can get out of the bed and after dressing up I hurry to Jun's room with Mingyu on my side. When we enter to the room, the sight gives me shivers.

Jun is laying eyes closed plugged into machines and I barely can see his heartbeat at the monitors. Next to the bed is a chair where Wonwoo sits looking into emptiness, eyes red and puffed, looking really tired and pale, like he hasn't eaten nor slept, or even took a shower.

"Wonu..", Mingyu whispers to call his boyfriend out of his trance. As Wonwoo looks at me he smiles a little jumping up and coming to hug me. "You are up. Good that you are fine", he says dryly and Mingyu looks so worriedly at him. I smile at Wonwoo. "You should rest", I say giving Mingyu a hint to take him to eat or something.

"I will look after Jun, okay? He would want you to sleep and eat and drink", Wonwoo is quiet but nods then and Mingyu sighs relieved as he takes Wonwoo's hand leaving the room. When the door shuts I run to the bed.

I touch Jun's cheek. "Babe, it's me. I'm alive, and fine, because of you. I know you can hear me. I just know", I whisper taking his hand into mine and kissing his fingers carefully. "I want to say thank you. And I'm sorry when I said that you are jerk and asshole, you are not. And.. I remember before the accident happened.. I was going to say..", I stop when my voice cracks and hot tears fills my eyes. I lay down to rest me forehead on Jun's foreahead. "... That I love you.. I really do. I want you to stay with me.. Everyone says that you are not going to wake up anymore but.. I don't want to believe that. I really can't believe that you are leaving me".

I take a deep breath letting my words out. "You made me feel like I'm loved. I wanted to make you feel the same and I still do. I pray the God, or whoever there is that they are going to save you. That you will get to be with me again..", I start crying letting out muffled voices as I let my head against Jun's neck. "Come back please..".

I get up to kiss his lips once and then turning my head away trying to stop crying.

"Please, save Jun.."