Afterlife

Elvendork

"What do you mean Harry is meant to be called Elvendork?" Lily cried in outrage. James hung his head in shame, whispering how it was "all Sirius' fault" and he should "never ever make another bet in his life".

It turned out that if James and Sirius got absolutely hammered in the afterlife, it would bring back certain memories they had misplaced, often ones that had occurred when they were drunk before.

Unfortunately, this time, Sirius had remembered one of the things that James himself had remembered a short while ago, and never wanted Sirius to remember.

The Elvendork Bet.

"Um...Sirius and I made a bet..." James began.

"James, Harry is twenty-seven years old. You can not legally change his name. It doesn't help that he is in a different vicinity to us, either," Lily reprimanded.

"Merlin, no," James muttered, "That's not what I meant. Sirius and I made a bet nearly thirty years ago-"

Lily frowned, "I thought we had agreed back then that you weren't to make any bets with him, because they were all to do with the baby?"

"We were in a pub; completely smashed. Drunk me had no recollection of any conversation you and Sober Me may have had previously. Ergo, vis a vis, we made a bet."

"I have never heard you use that phrase," Lily commented, raising an eyebrow.

"What phrase?" James frowned.

"Ergo, vis a vis? Feeling particularly posh today, are we?" She snickered, clearly having forgotten the dire issue at hand - the fact that Harry was meant to be called Elvendork not Harry.

"Well, we made a bet and that bet was that if I didn't man up and tell you about my stupid fear before the baby was born, then he would have to be named Elvendork. It was supposed to be a sort of confidence boost...only we both sort of forgot...until now."

"Did you ever tell me the fear?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope," James whistled nervously.

"Will you ever tell me the fear?"

"No-"

"OH YES HE WILL!" Sirius dramatically entered, for some unknown reason emerging through a cloud of smoke and wearing a cape.

"Even for you this is a bit much," Lily commented.

"Yes, I know it's getting out of hand but what else am I supposed to project my eternal sadness onto? The art of dramatic entrances and mild humour are the only things that can absorb the deep rooted depression that lives inside of me."

"Jesus Christ, Sirius, I think you need a therapist." James blinked.

"Prongs, you of all people know that therapists can't cure mad people. We both need a therapist, but hey, look at me now, I'm wearing a cape and emerged through a cloud of smoke, I think I'm doing pretty decent in death."

Lily snorted. "Anyways, Elvendork secret that you need desperately to tell me?"

"Oh, yes, Prongs, whenever I next see your kid-"

"It won't be for a long time," Lily warned.

"I will be calling him Elvendork. And then you'll have to explain the entire thing again. HA!"

"Sirius must be under the influence of some sort of drug, there's no way anyone can become this insane in such a short space of time." Lily was eyeing Sirius as though he was some sort of feral animal, something to be handled.

"Natural high," Sirius assured her, grinning once again. "Go on then Jamie. Tell her what you are scared of."

"If this is your boggart fear then I already know," Lily reminded him.

"It's not." James muttered. "I'm...I'm afraid of balloons."

Lily snorted. She bit her lip, trying to keep a straight face.

"Balloons." She repeated. "So when Harry was born, that's why you refused any balloons! Not because 'we don't know whether he's allergic to latex' or 'if the balloons pop it could make you stressed' it was because you were scared of them?" Lily asked incredulously. James nodded shamefully.

"That's not even the worst of it he's also deathly afraid of cotton balls!"