Love You Goodbye |L.S ✔

Love you Goodbye

Dear Harry,

I am writing this before I forget everything and go far away from this world. I'll start by talking about our first date.

Never in my whole twenty five years of dating did I have a date like you. You were the whole new level of charming. Even if the diner was too crowded and both of us appeared disheveled, it was memorable. It wasn't even a proper date but we'd both agree that it's the best date ever. Mapel syrup dripping from the stack of pancakes and with choco chips in them is our traditional breakfast. Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, we'd eat them until we're sick. Those are the best days when you'd not be bothered about eating too much of sugar, I love them. I'll miss them.

The time I cooked you dinner, which didn't burn, thankfully is another of the things I want you to remember. Chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in Parma ham with a side of homemade mash and gravy is the best meal and don't you dare protest, babe cause I know you will lose. You love it.

Our second date's a lot more better than the first one. Atleast we weren't in pyjamas. You took me ice skating even though you sucked at it. Seeing you shake out your little bum to shake off the snow is the most adorable thing Hazza.

When you first met Liam, I was a little hesitant about you. Liam used to threaten each of my boyfriend and I didn't want you to break up with me because of that. That night when you kissed me in front of Liam, I realised that you wouldn't give me up so easily. You are brave and strong and perfect.

I'm not Harry, I'm neither brave or strong or perfect. No matter how many times you tell me that I am, it's not possible for me to accept that.

Well back into the past, when I graduated and was going to leave for uni, you told me-I don't want us to be separated.

My heart swelled with affection for you because you were my summer love, you always will be my summer love. When I had to leave you it felt like snow in September, everything dull and dreary but we had to say goodbye.

You told me to promise that I won't write or call but never forget you and I tell you, baby, forgetting you was impossible or so I thought.

Each passing day without you was a challenge for me. You refused to answer my calls or reply to my letters. It made my heart break. But we made through it. You and I, we are infinite, Harry and don't let anyone tell you different.

We made love for the first time in your childhood bedroom with your Mum sleeping downstairs and watching your face turn pink everytime you released a moan is worth every drop of my blood. The next day my shirt was rubbing roughly on all the scratch marks you left on my back. Those kind of burns and bruises are the best with you but if I'm being honest, everything with you is the best. Nothing less than perfect.

Okay this is the right time to say that I was pleasantly surprised when you got down on to one knee and asked me to marry you on top of the Eiffel tower. It's so you.

When you refused to have anyone smear cake on your face and when I smeared, you made me lick it off. Bastard but I am quite fond on you so it wasn't all bad.

I love you Harry. I love the fact that you cry everytime you see The Notebook. I love how you always are so dramatic about seeing Titanic. I love how you hold me when my eyes sweat during Up. I love how you eat your popcorn and leave the burnt ones for me. I love the fact that you cry everytime you read Eleanor and Park. I love your random questions in the middle of the night about what did Eleanor write to Park. I love how you softly sing to me when I can't fall asleep and I'll miss it all Harry. I will and I know it.

I love every single bruise on you which is self inflicted due to your clumsiness. I love how you always want to be the small spoon no matter how tall you are. I love how you cry everytime you go through our wedding album. I love how your eyes light up when you hold a baby. I love your weird obsession with Gucci. I love your weird loud shirts.

I love your gay ass. And when I'm gone, don't mourn my loss. I don't want you to remember me as someone whom you loved. I want you to remember me as someone who you love. Promise me till my last breath you'll love me. Till your last breath, you'll love me, you promised me so.

Look at our wedding bands and let it remind you, how long have we been together, through thick and thin, long nights and lazy mornings. I want you to smile thinking about me, not cry.

If I make you cry, baby, I'll never forgive myself. When you look at my cuppa, smile at the drawings I drew on it. Look at all the cat figurines I got you for your birthday and have a laugh on it but please don't ever shed a single tear because of me. Please Harry I beg you.

Go through my stuff and you'll find a cassette tape. It's a cover of Look After You by The Fray. It'll make you feel like I'm there. I'll look after you Hazza. It's a song to make your heart remember me, so anytime I'm gone you can listen to my voice and sing along. Pretend that you're in my arms and you're with me.

And I'm sorry I'm going to forget you. I'm sorry I'm going to forget how much I love you. I'm sorry that I'm going to forget what we love to do. I'm sorry that I'm going to forget these little things.

I want to cherish the moments we had forever and ever. All the little things, I don't want you to forget them. Remember those, go to places which reminds you of us. Keep me alive in your memories Hazza. It's my one last wish.

You are always in my heart, Harry Styles.

Yours sincerely,
Louis.