Just Friends? Troyler.

Chapter Three- Mistakes

🚫Trigger Warning. Skip this chapter if possible self-harm chance.🚫

TROYE'S POV

"That was a mistake, Troye."

I struggled to steady my breathing, watching Tyler storm ahead, pulling his suitcase behind him. I blink back tears, determined not to cry, of course it was a mistake. Just friends, Troye. I stare at my feet, but I can't help but wonder, if it was such a mistake, why didn't he pull away sooner? No, he was probably scared he'd embarrass me. I begin to follow him, the spring gone from my step. I can't handle this, but the second I get home, it'll be okay. When I finally catch up to Tyler, we hail a taxi and avoid eye contact as I slide into the back seat. I make sure to slide all the way over to make room for Tyler, but he sits in the front seat, right next to the driver. I slam my door shut and spit directions at the driver.

When we finally arrive, I don't bother to help Tyler get his bags out of the boot. I don't even think about paying, I just run into my apartment, leaving the door open a crack so Tyler can get in. I run to my room, slipping into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I push my back against the door and slowly fall to the floor. After a second of being strong too long, the tears flow, leaving a damp trail down the front of my shirt. I reach for my cabinet and pull out my razor. I breathe deeply before pressing the metal to my wrist. As I apply pressure I feel myself releasing. Everything seems to fade away, the colour of red being the only thing tying me to the world. I slice my skin three more times before I am finally satisfied. I look down at the mess I made, and begin grabbing toilet paper to minimise the blood left on this shirt. I am about to get a wet washer and disinfectant when I hear Tyler's voice from directly behind the door.

"Troye? Troye are you okay?"

"What do you care?" I'm amazed at how childish my voice sounds, but I'm so angry that I don't even stop to think about my tone.

"Troye, please. Your EP just came out, please don't ruin it just because of me."

"Just because of you?! Who the f*ck do you think you are, Tyler?!"

I hear his sharp inhale due to my swearing, I rarely swear around Tyler, apart from when I'm exceptionally angry.

"No seriously, Tyler. Who the f*ck do you think you are? What? You think I can just f*ck someone else and imagine it's you and that's meant to suffice whatever the hell I'm feeling for you!"

I pause, shocked at my sudden outburst, but even more shocked at what I just admitted. I hold back sobs as I stand, determined to get the hell out of this apartment. I unlock the door and storm through, pushing Tyler as I pass. He grabs my arm in a futile attempt to stop me.

"Troye please just-"

He must have felt the blood on his hand, because his face turned the exact same colour as mine. I can't believe I forgot to clean it up, I... I always remember. I always remember.

"Troye? What the f*ck?!"

Author's note:

Ooh intense ending and stuff. Except I know exactly where this is going, I haven't updated in a while but I'm on holidays so I'm relaxing. Also full disclosure: none of this is real. I'm not sure if Troye has ever self-harmed but there is no proof or anything. This is all fiction. Thanks for reading!