Blue In The Soul, Purple With Red

Chapter 6

Nico laid on his worn mattress, his eyes focused on his ceiling. The dark weighed down on him, leaked into his soul. He could feel the monsters creeping up, feel his craving becoming overwhelming. His fingers itched to get that money, to go to Octavian's. It wouldn't take long, it would help him. It could stop the memories that had started to build up within him.

Why'd Hades have to come back into his aching soul? Why was Lukas triggering so much of his childhood?

"Will will be here in a couple days..." Nico told himself. "He'll be home in a couple days...just hang in there."

He tried to picture Will's bright smile, tried to picture his blue eyes. All he could think about was drugs.

It was midnight when Nico got into his stash of money. It was thirty minutes later when he arrived at Octavian's house with tears pouring from his eyes. It was one in the morning when he sat on the hood of his car and smoked heroin for the first time in months.

It was at one in the morning when he disappointed himself for the hundredth time. When he disappeared all of the ones that loved him.

When he disappointed Will.

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Miss Dare looked down at the sheet of students that were supposed to be in her class. Only one was missing, the one that she was told to watch carefully. Nico di Angelo. With a quick word to her helper, she left the other woman to watch the kids before stepping out into the hall. As soon as she did, she could hear sobbing coming from nearby.

"Nico?" she walked down the hall, looking anywhere a small boy could hide. "Nico? My name is Miss Dare. I'm your teacher."

Small hiccuping, a whimper. As she stopped outside the bathrooms, a small boy came out of the large door with a red face and puffy eyes. He tugged at his worn pants in discomfort, his hair falling into his face and sticking to his tears. "Five?'

"Room five." she kneeled in front of him. "You're Nico?"

Nico nodded. "I sorry. Please, no hit me. I'm sorry."

"I'm not going to hit you." she looked him over. "What are you crying about? Are you hurt?"

Nico pulled at his pants again. "No diapers here. Need diaper." He set his book bag down and pulled a pencil from it. "I remember this. No lost it."

Miss Dare looked her young student over, dread building in her heart. Diapers...there was no way he was still in diapers...right?

Nico started to sob again when she didn't answer him. "I'm sorry!"

"No, no, it's okay." she reached out to wipe his eyes. "It's okay. I'm just trying to think of how to help you. I want to help you, Nico."

"You'll get me a diaper?" he asked, hope filling his eyes. "You get me diaper? Mine ruined."

She moved some hair out of his face. "I'll have someone get you a diaper. Until they do, how about you come join class? I'm sure they'd love to meet you. You could make some friends."

Nico nodded, keeping his pencil close to him. "You be there?"

"I'll be there," she promised. She stood up and took his hand, starting to lead him back to her classroom. "Let's go introduce you. I'll be by your side the entire time."

Nico closed his eyes, felt tears slid down his face as the high abandoned him. She said she had cared. Said she wanted to help him.

Then why did everything continue on for years?

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Lukas laid in his own bed that night, not having heard Nico leave. All he could think about was Knox, about how their relationship had turned so toxic. He loved Knox, loved him more than he had loved Will, but all his instincts told him that Knox didn't love him back.

Still, he spent the night praying and hoping that maybe he would change, that he would get better. That everything would be okay.

He loved Knox. Loved his abuser.

His shoulder throbbed along with his heart as he fought to get some sleep. Lukas would see Knox everytime he closed his eyes, would feel him hurting him in his dreams. He could feel his fist, feel how he kept getting stronger.

Nightmares haunted him that night just as heroin haunted Nico.