Gay Chicken | ✓

{30}

Chapter Thirty

It was no secret that Casper was an idiot.

His grades were never that great, especially in maths. He took a bit longer to make decisions than the average person and even then it mostly didn't go well. At the age of seven he had somehow thought it a good idea to squeeze his head through the banister that used to overlook the living room and gotten so stuck the banister had to be violently removed by his impatient, restless father.

He had been called an idiot many a times but never had he felt like a bigger one than he did now.

It was also no secret that Casper was a chicken, a pussy, a scaredy cat, a yellow belly.

He lived on running away from his problems, pushing things to the back of his mind and ignoring it like actually studying for exams, those calls he ignored from his mum when he knew he'd done something wrong, avoiding groups of teenagers in the street like the plague and running away from any insect that came close to him.

For a guy he was majorly pathetic and too be honest Casper had found himself thinking what James had ever saw in him in the first place. James was everything and Casper was only hanging onto the fringes. So he wallowed more in self-pity and cried some more about how lost he was, about how in all hell he was still here without feeling whole again. Still without James.

James had in no doubt seen his mum by now, both had talked it out and cried on each others shoulders and James had come home with the small sense relief that he wasn't alone after everything. That meant he was two doors down. 18 feet away, more or less. So close. Yet, still nothing.

It wasn't like he was expecting a phone call, or a text or a spontaneous pebble to the window and James waiting below with flowers, or a little sorry teddy, or a box of chocolate, or a boom box or whatever - ok so maybe he was, he totally was. He had time to day dream and hope now that his life had no purpose.

Hedgehog had other ideas:

"Go over and see him yourself you pathetic fuck! Jesus fucking Chr-" Casper didn't get to hear the rest of what Hedgehog had to say as Daisy had obviously snatched the phone off her but even then it wasn't enough to muffle her voice as she stalked away in the background "I'm so sick of these flaming homos and their petty problems and they call us woman emotional. I say ha!"

He could hear Daisy laugh and muffling it quickly before she came on. "Don't listen to her Cas. She's just in a mood because I've being spending half my time with you and now her period has started."

Casper had complained about boundaries and the things he wanted to know and what he didn't about his female friends.

It was Hedgehog that had started it. Of course, Casper being Casper pushed it to the back of his mind. He didn't have the right state of mind to see James much less convince him to come back to him. He had never had a backbone in his life and he was killing himself for not having it now. He couldn't, wouldn't, didn't see how.

So he sat, feeling as if without a soul or any joy left in his whole being because honestly that's what it felt like.

His parents tried to cheer him up. Made him come downstairs once in awhile and watch a few movies with them. His parents would laugh and laugh and Casper wondered if they had any trouble in their relationship after almost 20 years of marriage, he couldn't see it. Although his father worked almost every night and hardly saw his on wife and son Casper had never seen it put a strain on them, they were still crazy into each other as they were when Casper was younger and that itself was crazy.

Even when Casper was crazy into James they had still fought a lot during being together. Maybe James was sick of that; sick of Casper and his uncontrollable temper that always seemed to flare up whenever James pushed his buttons far enough, something he had made into somewhat of an art after all these years of knowing each other, hating each other, liking each other.