𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬. | 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐡𝐨

11

"good morning baby," hyungwon's mother grinned as hyungwon made his way down the stairs. hyungwon normally woke up, showered, got dressed and came down for his breakfast. normally his breakfast was a granola bar, but his mother had prepared eggs and sausage.

"you cooked?" hyungwon said with joy, kissing his mother's cheek. she nods and smiles, handing him a plate.

"grab as much as you want, i already ate." she rubs his back softly, sitting down at the table and playing on her iPad. hyungwon grabs some eggs and sausages and sits down next to her.

"so.."

hyungwon looks up at his mother, and she has a nervous smile on her face. hyungwon stuffs his face with eggs as she starts to speak.

"I haven't been able to talk to you much so...and it's 2018 so i gotta ask this..."

hyungwon raises an eyebrow, chewing all the eggs in his mouth.

"what is your sexuality?"

hyungwon chokes on the eggs a little, his eyes are wide and he's very nervous about it. "um..."

"you don't have to tell me, i understand."

"nono, it's fine."

she waits, her mind making assumptions. she kind of figured since he's holding his breath and not saying it.

"i...i-i.."

"baby.."

hyungwon chokes on his words, his voice breaking. "i-i feel like dad can hear me...i feel like i can hear him being angry..i feel like he...he is at this table. it's almost like i feel him here. but he doesn't even live here.."

"honey.."

"i can almost hear him. i can hear him saying horrible horrible things.." hyungwon cries, his hands shaking against the table. his mother leaves her chair, stands hyungwon up and brings him into a tight embrace.

"he's not here..." she whispers, rubbing his back.

hyungwon laughed as he pulled on the wig. he didn't know what it was like to have long hair, so he wanted to try it out. minhyuk sat beside him, smilingly widely. hyungwon flips the hair around all of the place, smiling and laughing.

it was normal, he was only 8. he wanted to explore, he was curious. he played some pop song and danced around, being the jolly little goof that he was. minhyuk loved that about him, he was always so happy and so open and didn't care what most said.

the door opened and there stood his father, a confused and slightly angry face on his face. "what the hell are you doing?"

hyungwon stopped the music and smiles left both of their faces, hyungwon pulling off the wig and tossing it.

"you're not a girl, why the fuck are you wearing that? Where did you find it?"

"..I..I.." the wig was really minhyuk's, but both didn't have the courage to speak.

"what are you, fucking gay?" his dad spat, hyungwon's tear filled eyes facing the ground. hyungwon wasn't really aware of what gay meant, but he figured it had something to do with gender.

"i asked you a fucking question!" he continued, anger in his voice and his face was red. hyungwon broke down, crying into his hands and minhyuk stare at the ground. they were both barely able to process this.

"i...i..i don't know!" hyungwon genuinely didn't know what his dad was talking about, hyungwon was frustrated and confused and sad all at once. no child should have to face this.

"of course you fucking don't, disgusting." his father slams the door and hyungwon breaks down further, sobbing. minhyuk stands and pulls hyungwon into a hug, one of the cutest sights you could see. a nine year old and 8 year old hugging.

"mom... i'm gay..." hyungwon finally manages, crying into his mother's shoulder. his mother kisses his head repeatedly, rubbing his back.

"baby..i'm proud of you..you know i am..this is hard for people to admit. i'm so proud of you, i accept you and i always will baby."

hyungwon smiles a little into his mother's shoulder, still crying his eyes out though. "dad doesn't though.."

"that's dad! he's gone now, he's across the state. we're done with him."

she continues. "baby, i want you to know i don't think anything different of you. you're still you. you're still yourself. but now you can be free, you can be yourself without holding your breath. don't ever let what anyone thinks, change how you feel about yourself. you matter, and what you want and what you believe is all that matters. i love you so much." she pulls him back in for a hug, as tears fall from both of their eyes. hyungwon doesn't even care that he's late for school, and neither does his mother. this moment has been needing to happen, and it finally has.

"i love you too, mom." hyungwon sniffles, kissing his mother's cheek. he walks to the mirror, wiping his eyes and making him look even slightly presentable, but he fails because his eyes are red and puffy.

"bye baby, have a great day. i love you. don't let anyone tell you what to be."

"bye mama."

—
hyungwon had got to school looking better than he was, hiding all of his emotions like he always does. but he feels it's better for everyone that way.

he was in chemistry, 3rd period. he had this class with changkyun. changkyun always sat next to hyungwon.

hyungwon felt he was confident today. he felt relieved from his mother, but his friends. that's a different story. kihyun, jooheon, and changkyun didn't know he was gay. might as well say it while he can.

"hey, uh, changkyun..."

changkyun raises his eyebrows, staring at the phone before him that isn't supposed to have out but changkyun is one to break rules.

"i'm... uh..."

"gay? i know."

hyungwon's eyes widen, growing nervous. "w-what? how?"

changkyun laughs. "well, it's the small things. you stare at a certain people..." he whispers, "wonho.."

hyungwon groans, pouting and crossing his arms. changkyun continues, "i have an eye for that. i can tell who you like and what you like. don't worry, wonnie, i accept you."

"thanks changkyun, i love you."

changkyun smirks, looking at hyungwon in the corner of his eyes.

hyungwon glares at changkyun, fake vomiting over the next words that leave his mouth.

"no homo."

————-
unedited.