This Time Tomorrow

Chapter Four

Past

"I have to tell you something." I glanced at Jesse from over my shoulder as we both got off of the bus.

Jesse jogs to catch up to me and grabs my backpack off of my shoulders. He always insists on carrying my bag when we walk home from the bus stop. I don't know why.

"Okay, tell me."

I chew my bottom lip. "Daniel Pfeifer asked me to go on a date with him."

Jesse stops walking. So I stop walking too. We stare at each other while I wait for him to react. "What'd you tell him?" Jesse bites out.

Shrug. "Told him I'd think about it."

"V, Daniel Pfeifer is a prick. Why would you wanna go out with a loser like him? You could do way better." Jesse grumbles. He's always been really protective of me.

"I've never been on a date." This has been weighing on me and I know that Jesse's the only one I can voice this concern to. All of the other sophomores have been dating and kissing and... well, God knows what else.

Jesse starts walking again. He's staring down at his shoes as he walks, deep in concentration. "Screw those idiot, I'll take you on a date if that's why you're going."

A giggle rolls off my tongue and I swat him playfully. "Knock it off, Jess. You're my best friend, I don't have anyone else to talk to about this." I'm vaguely aware of the slight quickening of my heartbeat, I don't let myself read too into it.

Present

Hours later, the door to Jesse's room clicks open and then closed.

The bed shifts and I feel him lying down behind me. He runs a hand down my hair, smoothing it, and then kisses the back of my head. When his arms wrap around me, I roll over in his grasp to face him.

Jesse's dark eyes meet mine, but they hold no surprise; almost as if he knew I'd be sleeping in his bed tonight. He's always seemed to know me better than I know myself.

"Do you still hate me?" I whisper into the darkness.

His arms flex around me and I hear him release a long sigh. "I never hated you, Vera." When he says my full name, I shudder. He always means business when he uses my full name. "I was hurt." He adds.

I let his words hang in the air between us because I'm not too sure what to say. "Why?" He asks, and I know exactly what he's referring to.

My heart clenches and I let his question hang in the air for a while, scared to answer. "Fear, mostly. Of how I felt about you." In just those eight words I've given him more of an explanation than I have in the past ten years since the moment I left. Understanding seems to creep into his eyes.

I feel his thumb trace along my bottom lip then retreat. "And now? Are you still afraid?"

Nerves erupt in my stomach and I whisper a hoarse, "very." A lot of unspoken things float between us, and the weight of the past ten years bear down on me. But that doesn't stop me from leaning in and pressing my mouth against his. I'm not sure what possesses me to do it.

At first he's still. And then all at once, he snaps and our mouths are trying to consume one another. It's not a gentle kiss, no. It's the ten years that we've been apart in a kiss. It's all of his anger mixed with my regret. Guilt and sadness. This kiss demands to be felt. From my lips to my toes, I'm aware of this kiss.

And then it's over.

We're both gasping. I can't bring myself to look at him because I'm afraid I won't like what I see. Instead, I rest my head against his chest and he starts stroking my hair in a rhythmic pattern. "Sleep, V. Just sleep." He murmurs as I'm on the verge of unconsciousness.