Every road is a slippery slope
There is always a hand that you can hold on to.
Looking deeper through the telescope
You can see that your home's inside of you.
----
"RiiiiiiiiiNNgggg!" says my alarm.
Another hectic day. I was getting used to it. I've stretched my arms and shrug out of my bed. As scheduled, I've prepared myself to go to school.
It has been my mother's sweet smile that greeted me every morning. It was only my second year living with her; living with my family. I was raised far from them, so actually i was adjusting not only in school but also in our home.
Since I was a kid, I had never got a chance of being vulnerable. Growing far from my real parents, it has been a requirement for to be strong: To do things on my own. That's what made me strive in my studies. I would try hard to be recognized in school every year because it was only then, the school's awarding ceremony, they would come and accept my award.
It felt different being with them. Being the youngest, I would sometimes feel strange about what they do.They work a lot. A LOT. I would still be left alone in our house sometimes. It felt like I was only in a different location. Nothing had changed. But at least right now, I have my licence back in being a child. Not worrying about everything. Not doing everything. I was happy then, at least.
"It was nice feeling weak sometimes, especially when you know there is someone who would be strong for you..."
Saying goodbye to my mom, I've packed my things and headed school.
----
a report, long exam, articles to write, trainings to attend to and tons of things to submit comprised my every day.
My class was about to end when I saw someone outside our classroom.
It was her, Sophie. I saw her eyes checking the entire room, and finally saw me. She waved hi to me and so did i to her, while Showing a Whale-sized smile on my face. Oh, why would she be always like this? a relief, a hero. =)
i was smiling. EXAGGERATEDLY. knowing how would i look like, I've started to laugh at myself. It was then, when I noticed almost everyone was looking at me. I began hearing murmurs about who is she, what is she doing there, what is our relationship and so fort.
The Class was over, I immediately rushed outside to see her.
Grabbing her bag and holding her hand, "Looks like I wont wait till night for my day to be complete."
Smiling, "you bet it's complete."
Laughs. ***
"Let me walk you to your class,." I said as we were walking.
"Not after you play something for me" she said looking at the School's organ.
"I see, somebody's missing the old times.."
It has been awhile since I last played to her. It was her who first listened to it.
since then, she became my reason to hit the keys..
-----
I was new in our school. I was a bit of a loner then. It has been my habit to go to the music room after class to play the keyboard.
Hitting the keys makes me feel free. It is only there where i can be honest. Honest, not because I'm pretending but because there's nobody left for me to be truthful with.
It had rained hard that afternoon. My song just ended when I heard claps that was coming from my back.
It was someone I know. Sophie, my classmate.
"So this is where you go after classes" she said.
In my surprise, I stood up sternly and uttered a shaky "Ye..s"
"would you mind playing again for me?" wearing that unbearable sweet smile. (oh God.)
"I'm not that good, but I'll try" keeping myself composed, I said as i was starting play again.
It was my first time to play for someone. It felt good. Finally someone who could listen. that's where it all started..
----
We're almost at the music hall when i heard someone playing.
"Looks like someone's usi..." Sophie was not finished on what she was saying when I rushed to the room to see who was it.
In my surprise, it was Tihn. That girl in my class.
I was looking at her, hearing how she play, I saw something I know was familiar.
"Oh, she's kristine. She's great, the class valedictorian." said Sophie.
"really? i don't know that, she is my classmate" I said, still amazed of what I was seeing.
suddenly the song stopped, I know it was because she felt that we're there. It was an awkward moment when both of us looked at her. It felt like we've done something wrong.
"O..oh?" kristine said, you can see that she was not used playing while others are around.
"Oh, don't mind us we were just passing" Sophie said grabbing my hands and pulling me away.
"You sound amazing.." I said, not knowing why and what I said,( I must admit that was strange) while we we're leaving
"Oh Th..anks!" she said while looking at us leaving.
We were few meters from the room when I heard her playing again. That moment when i saw her stayed on my mind as I walked Sophie to her room.
---
"guess this means ill start to miss you more" She said as she extends her arms around my chest.
"I'll be playing for you next time" I said as i handed her, her bag and kissed her.
"I'll take that as a promise, Ill see you around" she said as she quickly enters her room. Her class was about to start.
I waved goodbye and walked away.
----
I was thinking of going home when i found myself in front again of the music room. Nobody was there. But a picture so clear was posted in mind that time.
Hearing that piano piece. Seeing someone and feeling that familiar atmosphere.
That loneliness. The way keys were hitted.
I'm sure of what i saw. It was so clear, i cant be wrong
It was not just another good pianist.
It was a vivid expression...
of myself...
