Ai no Nikki (Writing Practice/Online Journals)

journal entry: july 1, 2018

hello~

akemifune here. i don't really know why anyone would read this, since it's basically more of a personal blog with some writing practice here and there (i will indicate which part will be which in the title), but i guess that i needed someplace to spill everything onto. this isn't my original idea, so props to the wattpad writers who've inspired me to make this.

also, my apologies for the lowercase text. i'm doing this in my phone, so i'm sorry in advance if that bothers anybody.

i'm an upcoming senior, meaning that i have to apply to college soon. and that is honestly terrifying to me. a little background: i am one of those people who has been raised to become a scholar in academics. i would never call myself a genius or anything, but that's how my parents expect me to be. that's how my teachers expect me to be. that's how my peers expect me to be. that's how i expect me to be.

it's not like my school is super academically advanced because it's not. i go to a public high school, for christ's sake. i've just developed this need over time to be the top at everything. i hate talking about myself, to be honest, so saying things like this makes me uncomfortable, but who's going to care enough to read this?

i've been involved in many clubs during my time in high school. i'm also the president of our school's philosophy club and i'm the founder and president of an upcoming mentorship program at our school. i expect myself to take the most advanced courses in large quantities (to the point where i take college courses over the summer for kicks and giggles). i've never gotten less than an A.

wow, i know. i sound like the most interesting person on earth, don't i? sorry, i need to go back to modesty. again, i really do hate talking about myself.

i'm scared of not getting into where i want to go. i'm scared. most of all though, i just want to leave my sorry little town.

i live in a small town that many people have never heard of before. i have close friends here, and i also have some not-as-close friends here. i also have people who have done me dirty, but that's a story for another time.

it's kind of weird to say, but most of my close friendships are with people who don't live in my city. they live all across the state. i've met them in programs, clubs, camps, and the like. the people who live in different cities in my state are different. in my town, everyone is competitive. they use other people, they ridicule others, they bully others, and they're some of the pettiest people you'll ever meet. the culture here is awful. but everywhere else seems different.

i've been to one of the biggest cities in my state recently, and i've gotten to know a lot of teenagers there. they are so accepting and cooperative. i feel like the person that i want to be when i'm around my friends from other cities. it makes me wish that i lived somewhere else at times.

this is random, but if i had to label my mood right now with a song, i would list that one shiloh dynasty song. you know, the one that goes like:
baby, can't you see?
i can be all you need

my music taste is kind of all over the place. it goes from tame impala to bon iver to death grips to tyler, the creator to BTS to potsu and so forth. i also listen to a lot of anime scores because i am a huge weeb.

sorry for going on a tangent. i do that a lot. also, sorry for over-apologizing. i do that a lot as well. anyways, i don't know how long i'll keep this "book" up for, but until next time.