Heart Broken

Hard Days

Today has been harder than others. I was cleaning the house like normal and found outfits we bought for our Anna. I sat down and balled. As much as I love my doggies I could not keep Annas puppy we found her a lovely home. Maybe it's the pain of her loss or I'm just flat out jealousy but I see all of my Facebook friends who are pregnant posting things along the lines of they will punish their baby after they are born for kicking or for causing them morning sickness and I makes me mad beyond belief . I am a easy goin person yet this makes me mad. I've went as far with it as to send pm to them just to tell them to count it as a blessing that I would love to feel out little one kick me or hell I would even take a whole 9 months of morning sickness if it would give us our little Anna Elizabeth back! On a positive note the hard days are not as often as before. I know I will always have a hole in my heart that only our little Anna could fill. It matches the holes left from Johnathan, Christopher, and Hannah. I know I will always have the pain and heartache and long to hold our babies but each day that passes I am learning to cope a little more with my forever broken heart! Anna Mommy and Daddy sit outside at night and look for stars close together. We find 7 one for each of our babies and then your grandparents. We name each star at night knowing that you all are watching over us! Mommy loves both of my baby girls and my little men up there! XOXOXOXO!

A/N: I don't know if I will add more or not I try to get all my feelings out in some form so that I don't end up blowing up or having a melt down and not to many are reading this so it is an easy out let for me. But if you read this please note this is not a book it is my life and my 4 babies who never got to grace this world with their beautiful faces so nothing negative please! Thank you for reading!