100 Marvel One Shots✔️

Fanfic Is Just Wobbly Canon >> Wade "Deadpool" Wilson X Male!Reader

Title: Fanfic Is Just Wobbly Canon

Paring: Wade Wilson X Reader

Warnings: death, angst, fluff, sad, fourth-wall breaks

Spoilers: yessh. Deadpool 2. 

Requested By: LordImpossible

Author's Note: Not that it needs to be said once more, but I'll say it again: this book finishes in 2 parts, and I am not taking requests any more as requests are closed. 

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Being a part of the X-Men wasn't half bad, most of the time. You got regular dental checks and healthcare cover thanks to the Professor, an account on the team's Netflix you didn't have to pay for, and training to allow you to regulate your mutation to be allowed around other people. While Ellie Phimester could literally explode, and Colossus was metal most of the time, you were able to shift your density. Which had been a rude awakening at fourteen when you fell from your bed at the top of the orphanage through all the floors and landed in a heap in the basement.

But that was years ago, and since, you've been learning not to fall so much as 'fly', or, really, just be half-useful in hand-to-hand combat with the people the X-Men encountered. In 2010, you met Wade Wilson back when he was just a mercenary for cash – by accident! You were on your way to your apartment in the shady part of town and he'd seen you in the shadows as a threat. Leading to his knife in your chest...well, his knife going through your chest. To make up for it, he'd taken you out for an apologetic round of drinks and given you a sloppily drunk kiss. But it was nice. It was Wade.

You're sure he was too drunk to remember that, because it hadn't been mentioned since. But that was perchance because he'd found a girlfriend. Because when you met again a couple of years later – when you were called in from a mission in the Basque country of France – he looked like a scaly piece of radioactive cheese, but, even without the eyebrows and a skincare routine, you knew it was Wade. For one, that sailor mouth.

Now, you're not so sure.

"She's ducking dead," he says, over and over, except ducking is what everyone intends to write when Autocorrect steps in. "And Russel's – duck!" His eyes are wild. He looks like a raggedy, wild, ravaging animal. Or a child. He's acting like it too. His legs are still small, and standing in the corner, you watch as he works out his problems mentally until he growls in frustration.

Weasel looks to you, and you look to Neena, and in turn, look to Wade.

"X-Force didn't work out," you say, and Wade gives you a sharp look. You clear your throat, and start again, "X-Force isn't done yet, but it hasn't done what its goal was. Get Russel and stop him. Especially since he's with Juggernaut."

Neena nods, agreeing. "We need to stop them, I mean, that guy is ugly."

Weasel raises a hand. "How are we going to do it? I mean, me – I'm just me, and Wade has baby legs, Neena – you're just a fluke of nature –,"

She grins at that, "Thank you."

"– and __________, you're just really good at falling through things." He concludes.

"We can't just do nothing." You say, desperate. "We know that Russel turns into a really, really bad guy if we let him go down this path – we have to try! It's better to try at failing than to fail at trying."