The Boy in the Gray Hoodie

34...

34...

I held Lisa in my arms and struggled to fight the waves of panic pinching my spine. I felt like Marley had given me an injection as well, and that I was losing my mind. I could barely think. All I knew was that Lisa wouldn't wake up. 

I knew then that Lisa wasn't safe. This place wasn't safe. And it was my fault that we were even here. I was the reason we woke up in the woods. I was the reason that Lisa was here now instead of safe at home. I was the reason that Marley injected her with a sedative.

            I had done bad things—I was always doing bad things. There was something inside me that came out and broke things and hurt people. I couldn't stop it, even though I had tried. Whatever it was, I knew that it was part of me. And no matter where I went, it would always be there too, waiting to come out.

            There was no safe place, not for me and Lisa. Because I wasn't safe.

            I'd never wanted Lisa to get hurt. The very thought of it made me ache. I started to cry, knowing that I had hurt her. I never meant for bad things to happen, especially not to her. She was precious to me—more precious than anything ever had been.

I held her tighter, pressing my cheek against her hair. She was all that I wanted now. Just her. The sweet scent I had worn for such a short time still clung to her hair. It made me think of her smile, and the way she looked at me when I told her that I wanted to keep her shirt. I hoped she knew how much I cared about her. I wished that I had told her. I wished that I knew for sure that she knew what she meant to me.

I watched Marley cross the room and open the door. She was happy to see whoever it was on the other side, and moved out of the way to let him come in. It took me less than a moment to realize it was James.

I clung to Lisa even tighter than before.

"What happened? What's wrong with her?" James asked. He looked at Marley.

"I thought it would make things easier on everybody if Lisa wasn't part of this." She explained.

But Lisa was a part of this. She was a part of everything. To me, Lisa was everything. Couldn't they understand that?

"Agreed," James stated. I jerked when he took a step toward me. But I wasn't afraid anymore. I was just desperate to keep Lisa in my arms as long as I could. Whatever James wanted with me, I knew that I could handle it because I'd experienced pain, and I'd had every good thing taken away from me. But not Lisa. Never Lisa. I couldn't lose her. I just...couldn't.

"Don't take her from me," I whispered.

A strange expression came over James' face. He was frowning. "What are you talking about?" he demanded.

Marley cleared her throat. "I think they've...grown attached to each other." She said.

"Interesting." James' eyebrow lifted. "I should have anticipated that."

"What now?" Marley seemed angry.

"Now I take Roy, and you keep Lisa here until I can come back for her." James replied.

My whole body stiffened at his words. He was going to take me away. James was going to lock me away again, and do more tests, and maybe kill me. But there was something worse.

He was going to keep me away from Lisa. I knew that once James took me away from here, I would never get to see her again.

"I won't hurt her, I promise!" I cried suddenly, my eyes flickering back and forth between their faces. Marley and James were both watching me with cold eyes. They were getting mad at me. But for once, I didn't care. "I promise I won't be bad ever again! Just don't take me away," I begged in an unsteady voice. "Don't keep Lisa from me, please..."