My Quest For The Meaning Of Life

Record 3: Friendships

Recently I have been experiencing the excruciating pain of saying goodbye to people I have fallen in love with this year. Why I emotionally invest myself in people I cannot explain, as it was yours truly who said "Never make your meaning of life a person, as they will probably disappoint as people typically do." and gave this advice to a friend wholeheartedly. I stand by this as, the meaning of life will always be bigger than a person, but I can't avoid the breaking of my heart as people leave me, for I have now invested time and emotion in this person. This leaving is a physical and geographical leave, for most of them will simply not be with me in terms of their presence, but will always be with me in spirit. But it still hurts me to think of my not knowing when I might encounter them again. Some I know I need not worry about, but others I'm not so sure. I do know that I will see them all again, it's the not knowing when that is terrifying. I have another quote that was, once again yours truly trying to help a friend, and it is as follows; "The friendships that matter aren't necessarily the friendships that last, they are the friendships with a lasting impact." I must say I find this very true and believe considering this may lift a weight off my shoulders when staring off into my future. It's an important message that was bestowed upon me by some unknown force that I am thankful to have received. The point of all this is that I had to tell myself just because something is ending doesn't mean it's THE ending. In fact, this is just my beginning. If every year of high school goes by so fast, I'll be a senior before I know it, and a senior friend told me to hold onto high school while I can. I know this is true...I can't believe freshmen year is almost over already! But it is and there's nothing that can slow down time, and that's probably a good thing. Even though I know nothing lasts forever, there's a human aspect of my thinking that compels me to long for the impossible and illogical; the eternity of the very best of my relationships. But I know this is something out of my reach and that I need to accept it and live with the realization that nothing can ever be the same again, because you can only authentically live a life-changing experience once, no matter how hard you try to recreate it.