Pretend Princess | A NaLu Fan Fiction

Air of Change

I pushed past the guard to the wooden door that lead to the infirmary. As soon as my eyes landed on her I involuntarily gaged and my hands flew over my mouth. I felt as if my breath had been knocked out of my chest, and it took all the self control I had not to vomit on the spot.

"Lisanna was hurt again. But this time it was pretty severe."

I shouldn't have come.

In a moments notice arms were wrapping around me and I was being whirled away—out of the room and into fresh air where I gasped, and finally flailed to be released.

"Let—let go!" I insist, my chest heaving, still processing the sight I had just bore witness to.

"Not here," Natsu's voice is gruff, but he is being gentle. I open my mouth to speak but instead of breathing I heave sobs, and finally I begin to understand what I had just seen. My body shakes from fear and disgust—tears run down my face in a mixture of emotions I couldn't begin to list. I stop fighting at this point, and Natsu places me down in the grass a good distance from the infirmary. After my feet touch the ground I stand for a moment but my legs shake and Natsu keeps his arms nearby; I push them away.

"How could a human being be capable of such malice?" My body turns to Natsu and I fear that I look wild and disheveled—but that fear lasts only a moment as I meet his eyes. They show immense pain, and he looks troubled. The fire that usually lights up behind his eyes is gone and replacing it is a shattered and cold reflection of the present. He reaches out and brushes a tear from my eye, and I pull him into an embrace.

I do so not as his pretend princess—not even as myself as a pauper—but as a human being sharing comfort to another person. Even if he is of Dragon lineage, he is still human too. At some point we sink to the ground, still grasping one another. I'm cradled in his lap and my arms are wrapped around his torso.

"Is she even alive?" I finally choke out, my chest heavy, as if a thousand pounds sat atop it.

"Barely. I doubt they will be able to save her arms or repair the damage to her legs and torso," his words are grim. I was at a loss. My mind couldn't fathom together any feasible ways of communicating how I felt. The feelings of being trapped and overwhelmed rushed over me like a tidal wave and I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

I shoved myself from Natsu's arms and stumbled my way up onto my feet, needing to escape these feelings. My eyes landed on a tree line down the hillside and I ran for them as fast as my legs would carry me—ignoring Natsu's shouts from behind me. Everything I felt was incredibly overwhelming. All I wanted was to be home, and to be cradled in my mother's arms.

When I reached the tree line I grabbed onto the nearest tree and leaned over, catching my breath. Tears ran wildly down my face and I yanked my hair clips out of my hair as it was falling out regardless. I heard a commotion up the hill and saw a few knights on horseback riding towards me from the direction of the stable. Natsu stood motionless where I had left him, and from my distance I couldn't see the look on his face.

My emotions surged and I sobbed, hitting the tree with my hands, shouting curses and spitting at the thought of my own existence.

"I hate this!" My voice cracks. "I can't do it anymore..." sobs shake my frame as my voice turns shrill and disappears. I sink to my knees and lean my head against the tree, bawling. I had never felt so deeply before, not even when my mother and father died, nor had I ever felt as if I had kept so much locked inside myself before this.

"Princess..." a voice calls out hesitantly. I do not move.

"It's not safe for you here," another voice chimes in. My head turns in their direction, my ragged breathing moving my frame haphazardly.