Don vs Sam

Part eleven

Do we call this sweet or sick? Don isn't sick but definitely not sweet. Strange how I woke up in the bed. He must've carried me of course. I went straight to the bathroom since I woke up in his arms. I cannot bear it any longer. Why is he doing this? Do I owe him something?

Everyday of filming went exactly the same but different scenes. I would look at Christine and Julie and they'd give me that sorry look. When I look at Don I see something wonderful. The look in his eyes. So old yet so familiar. But I'm not letting my heart get tamed again. I've been there and I'm not returning.

"Tomorrow is the big day!" I look up at Phyllida that clapped her hands to get our attention. "Meryl, I hope you're okay if we film the whole rest of the movie tomorrow. We've done Slipping through my fingers today and we're ending it tomorrow. You'll do the winner takes it all and we'll end it with with I have a dream. Basically is tomorrow our last day here. We'll be heading back to the mainland, stay in hotels to do the last two soundtracks, Dancing queen and Waterloo. Also some interviews and then we're done. I'm pretty sure you're all exhausted."

"Can I just get everyone's attention." I stood up getting literally everyone in the dinner area's attention. "I know that I'm not good at speeches and it's always soooooo looooong."

"Shut up! You make the best speeches." I gave a laugh same as the other to Julie. I gave her a sweet look, looking down then around me again.

"Besides what happened in my room with that weird guy and some weird stuff that happened, I just want to say that I never thought I'd become this emotional to think that tomorrow is our last day here. Trully, I'm gonna speak for all the actors now, thank you very much for casting us in this. Thank you Roy for pushing us to the edge to give our best voices to the movie. Thank you Benny, Bjorn, Agnetha and Anni-frid for your amazing music. I'm not gonna thank everyone cause I'll be standing here all night." I told them that laughed. I gave them a sweet smile and look at the cast. "Then this last speech is for you my friends. Amanda and Dominic, you two are so talented and I hope for whatever lays ahead for you, that you'll always have a way of finding comfort even if it's not together. Christine and Julie, my friends. I'm not gonna say best because to me all my friends are equal. You've been my comfort, my shoulder and my sisters. Colin, I'm sorry for freaking out when you wanted to touch my shoulder to comfort me. I'm really sorry for that. And you Stellan. Both of you are wonderful male friends. Good dads to Sophie but I kind of still think Sam is the father for no particular reason. Then last but not least Don. Don, you've been a great friend lately, alright? You carried me when I was weak. You carried me emotionally and physical and when I asked you if I'm heavy you'd say know even if I know you were lying about that. You showed me a few things that I never saw on you. You introduced me to a Don that changed my life forever. I hope that you'll be happy with that girl. Then to all the other actors which I didn't mention, thank you so much for your hard work. You are all amazing. Thank you very much."

I took a seat hearing the applause. When it got quiet again we all fell away with our meals. Dinner is kind of nice.

Someone once told me that we gotta let the music speak. But tomorrow, will it have an effect on Don? Will he be alright? The winner takes it all. The looser has to fall. Will he take this the right or the wrong way? I don't care anymore. Because since I started caring about him I just experienced some dissapointment. I'm like an empty broken bucket that cannot be filled again. But I'm gonna make something out of it. I'm going to fix myself. I won't lay there my whole life feeling sorry for what I've been through and what I'm left with. The fact that I came alive out of it is good enough for me.

I lay in the bed. All the lights are out and I'm pretending that I'm asleep. I don't know if Don is asleep. For all I know is that I've never experienced such quiet here before. Usually when the quiet is there, I'm not. I'm either asleep or busy destroying it.

"No more carefree laughter. Silence ever after. Walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes. Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye." I heard Sam singing silently touching my face. He keeps doing it. Why? What does he want from me? Forgiveness because I won't evem give him a spoon of it even though I already gave him the whole ocean of forgiveness. "Knowing me, knowing you. There is nothing we can do, knowing me, knowing you. We just have to face it, this time we're through. Breaking up is never easy, I know, but I have to go. Knowing me, knowing you, it's the best I can do..."

Tears climb to my cheeks. Will this really mean goodbye forever?

"Memories, good days, bad days. They'll be, with me always. In these old familiar rooms children would play. Now there's only emptiness, nothing to say." He kept singing softly touching my hair and my cheeks like he's never gonna see me again. Of course he won't. He'll be waking up next to a other woman, write poems to her, hold her hand and sing her a serenade. "Knowing me, knowing you. There is nothing we can do, knowing me, knowing you. We just have to face it, this time we're through. Breaking up is never easy, I know, but I have to go. Knowing me, knowing you, it's the best I can do..."

I'm crying. I feel him wipe away my tears. When I opened up my eyes I looked at him that had so many tears in him eyes.

"Knowing me, knowing you, it's the best I can do..." I ended the song with him that sounded so sad.

He grab me into his embrace holding me tighter holding me longer. Holding me stronger.
I don't belong here but while I'm here I'm gonna make it worth the while. So just like that we fell asleep in each other's arms.