Y/n's POV (this means signed.)
As I try on my new shirt and jeans and examine my body in the mirror, I vaguely notice mum's head in the doorway in my peripheral vision.
Dinner's ready! Come downstairs before it's cold! She signs, and gives me a weak smile before walking back downstairs.
Mum and I have lived together, alone, ever since dad died.
Dad was an alcoholic and had depression for a few months before he killed himself. He was ok until he was diagnosed, and the stress of it made him turn to alcohol. Alcohol and depression don't match. Since alcohol is a depressant anyway, his state just worsened.
He was a good dad. Not one of those aggressive drunks, just...
Distant. You could see tears in his eyes all the time, and I guess one day he wasn't strong enough to keep them in.
Poor guy.
I slide the black and red shirt over my head and the jeans up my calves and thighs, and make my way downstairs.
Sat at the dining table eating scrambled eggs on toast, I look up from my meal and ask mum a question.
How are you holding up?
I sign, maintaining eye contact and holding a small amount of fake sympathy in my eyes.
I've never been any good at empathising.
Suppose it's one of the traits dad passed onto me. I think it's called sociopathy. I also had a strange case called A.D.H.D, but it wasn't that bad. Not as bad as it could have been!
Mum breaks the eye contact and looks away into the distance for a moment.
She puts down her cutlery with a sharp clank and signs back- I'm having trouble keeping debts paid and earning money, and I miss your father, but I'm ok.
I love my mum, but I fear she is going down the same road dad was.
When my parents figured out that i was deaf, only a few weeks after birth, they blamed themselves.
I'm not sure why, i think it was a problem in the genetics, but I really don't know why the blame themselves. They couldn't have helped it! Humans are strange.
I see what you mean. I sign casually. Death seems like a hard thing to deal with. I'm always here for you, though.
Mum's eyes grow distant again.
Suddenly, practically throwing her cutlery down onto her half finished meal, she shouts something angrily that I couldn't make make out, and walks out of the room. Why is she upset?
I don't know. I still have egg to eat!
- In bed cuz I'm lazy and it's 11:00 pm when im writing this section.-
Lying down and fluttering my eyelids closed, I ponder the many reasons on why mum might have stormed away.
1- I brought up dad and this upset her.
2- She was upset that her egg had gone cold.
3- Her toast had gone cold.
I'm leaning towards the 2nd and 1st opinion, because the toast had just come out of the toaster, and therefore was still warm.
However. Why would she be upset about dad? Sure, he kept the bills paid easily, but he didn't really do much else.
He made hell of a cheesecake, though, and he taught me the recipe!
I'll never understand why people get so upset about death, it happens to everyone, at untimely parts of life. Expect and welcome it.
Then again, I'm a sociopath with A.D.H.D!
My eyes fall closed and I drift off to sleep.
(Don't worry, they'll all be introduced soon!)
