A caress to the cheek, a kiss to the lips, no words exchanged. It's always been like this, there were nights where they looked into each other's eyes with raw emotion, where their passion would ignite and they'd slowly venture on a journey to explore one another. The next day, the night would make itself into a faded memory as if it never happened.
"Laxus..." he breathed out in between kisses, "Laxus.." he repeated, the words tumbling out his lips like a prayer.
"Shhhh." Laxus' breath tickled his swollen lips, "Not a word, let us just forget."
Right, Forget. These nights were an escape. They were an escape from the world, a dirty secret. An escape from worries, an escape so they can simply enjoy each other. They weren't supposed to happen and so in the mornings they didn't; Everything would be back to normal and the earth would spin.
Lost in himself he didn't know when Laxus' body came to hover above his, when his arms wrapped around his neck and his fingers entangled themselves into Laxus' blond locks, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. This time, his prayer was silent.
This time Laxus' fiery lips were on his neck, sucking and nipping. Freed felt as if he was the most delicious taste Laxus' taste buds ever had the pleasure of encountering. "Laxus." The name left his lips in a sinful moan. Freed felt it, Felt Laxus' breath hitch against his skin, Felt his eyes flutter open his lashes tickling his neck.
"Freed," the word was whispered almost fearfully. They left a tingling sensation on Freed's sensitive neck and a quiver in his heart. A gulp; Laxus' gulp pierced through the thick atmosphere. Freed feared. "Freed," came the repetition, "I... nevermind." And so the night went on.
~~~~~~~~
Morning came. The sun smugly stretched out it's rays into the room like a cruel bully waiting to put it's victim in place; the wind acted as it's minion, ruffling the curtains. Freed woke up. His body ached where hues of purple bloomed. His neck, collar bone, chest, stomach, arms, legs; nothing was left untouched and they all ached. The ache served to remind him that last night was no dream yet it was his duty to pretend it was.
A soft sigh left his lips. He stole a glance at the blond sleeping beside him before he stood up. The silky covers caressed his pale skin as they slid off and for a split second Freed allowed himself to dwell in his fantasies and imagine them to be Laxus' hands. The sun shone brighter, it's rays lazily dragging down his arms. Freed liked to imagine they were manicured and that nails glazed his skin, digging in threat whenever he was caught doing something wrong.
He walked himself towards the mirror in the corner of Laxus' room. He stared at his reflection. The man staring back at him was pained but numb, or so he liked to phrase, it made him feel like the victim and main character of those countless books he read and adored, made him feel like he had a chance because those characters always did. The sun's nails dug into his skin painfully and he was reminded that life was no book. Producing his second sigh of the day, Freed gathered his long hair into a ponytail.
Everything else passed in a haze, the pants being slipped on, the shirt's cuffs being adjusted and the coat slung on. Perhaps his body got so used to these repetitive mundane actions each morning --after dreamy nights he wasn't allowed to recall-- that he didn't even notice them anymore, Like they were a programmed routine. He left the room and with his retreating figure all traces of the previous night flew out the window. It was a normal day, the earth spun.
~~~~~~~~
Their next night was a month later, not that Freed kept count. He walked in as the captain of the group Laxus commanded, he walked in as the captain of the thunder legion, Freed Justine and then found himself escalating to being just Freed. Freed, the boy who's hair was as green as the feathers of the lovebirds he owned, Freed who's turquoise eyes looked like the bottomless oceans and equally as knowledgeable. Freed, the boy in love with Laxus.
The boy in love with Laxus? Freed humorously realised that just as he'd been stripped of his image and status so was Laxus. Laxus was no longer his boss, his leader and the one whom he follows with blind loyalty, he was just Laxus in the exact same way he was just Freed. Perhaps (And Freed hoped with all his might as Laxus' tongue swirled between his shoulder blades) this just Laxus was also in love with this just Freed. A voice in the back of his mind laughed at that, told him it was just wishful thinking; Freed agreed.
~~~~~~~~
The morning that followed didn't introduce itself with a taunting, mocking sun, instead it was dark. It was almost as dark as their night and the air was thick (Freed guessed it would rain but made no move to get out of bed.) As thick as the air was on their nights. Perhaps, it was due to the lack of sun, but this morning was different. There were no nails to dig into his skin and Freed was allowed to indulge in his seas of fantasies --Built upon wishes-- in peace.
For the first time in the period of which Freed came to know Laxus, he had stayed long enough to witness the blond beside him wake up.
"Mornin'," the blond murmured, his voice heavy with sleep. Instead of panicking like he expected himself to do, Freed found himself biting back a smile. The room was dark; Freed was still just Freed; The sun was gone and with it the reality checks perished. Freed was as Freed as a Freed could be.
A hand soared over silk blankets landing softly over Freed's stomach, curling at his side and pulling him closer. Freed wanted to convince himself that it only happened because Laxus was half asleep or that after-mornings would also become a part of their forgotten dreams. The memory of the sun was still fresh in his mind and at the moment he could almost feel it's manicured nails digging into his skin with menace.
"I'm tired," Laxus suddenly spoke up, "aren't you?"
Freed shuffled beneathe the covers, turning to face Laxus in confusion. Tired? What did Laxus mean? Was he sick? He was almost about to shift back into being a captain.
"I'm tired of pretending," Laxus said, refusing to open his eyes as he pulled Freed closer, burying his face in his neck and nuzzling it, "Tired of pretending that our nights don't happen, that my body isn't marked, that..." The room fell silent.
Freed blinked, once, twice, thrice. He was tired too, oh very so tired, but they had to do this didn't they? They had to do this or-- drip, he felt it, a droplet on his shoulder and a stifled sob against his neck. Only once his thoughts halted did Freed notice his shoulder to be damp.
"I'm tired... tired of pretending that, that... I'm tired of pretending that I'm not hopelessly in love with you every single day." A shock, Freed had no means but guessing it was that what went through his body, a shock. Guessed because shocks were painful and jolting, this feeling was jolting too but it wasn't painful, it was pleasant and it's after effect was relief.
He found his hands getting themselves tangled in Laxus' locks without him giving them a conscious order. Freed let his thoughts be positive for once and let himself ponder that perhaps it was because his hands were meant to always find their way to Laxus, just like how birds were meant to fly.
"Why are you crying?" Laxus' voice yanked him out of his thoughts.
"Huh?" He asked dumbly, rather uncharacteristic of him if you were to ask anyone anytime later in the day.
"Why are you crying?" And Freed noticed that he indeed was crying, that his tears spilled into Laxus' back like the tears of a stone-made maiden would into the basin of her fountain. He wanted to laugh, in mockery or in amusement he didn't know. Of course, leave it to his Laxus to ask him for the reasoning behind his tears when he himself was crying a few minutes ago.
Freed settled for a chuckle which vibrated lightly in the air as his eyes continued with their water works, "because I'm tired and hopelessly in love with you too."
That day when the sun came out, instead of menacing fingers it ran it's palms on Freed's skin in a warm apology. When the earth spun again Freed and Laxus still found themselves in each other's arms.
