⚠️⚠️⚠️WARNING!!THE UPCOMING MATERIAL MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING AND HEAVY CONTENT SUCH AS SELF HARM,HEAVY DIALOGUE AND SUICIDE!!YOU WONT MISS ANY INFORMATION FROM THIS IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS!!⚠️⚠️⚠️
4 DAYS AFTER THE ATTACK
"Mrs.Midoriya ,we are back!"-said Uraraka as she was coming in ,holding some groceries while Iida and Bakugou were following behind and taking their shoes off.
"How's Midoriya?Any better?"
Inko looked very,very tired but still managed to smile with those dark circles in her face.
"Thank you for the worry Iida.I bet Izuku appreciates all your efforts....",-she stayed silent then got closer to Uraraka,-"Thank you sweetie,I'll take these you can go see Izuku if you want."
And so she left the room and the kids alone in silence and worry.
"...I fucking hate this situation"
"Bakugou this is no time for those word"
"Iida I swear I will not stay here and fucking reason with you in this kind of tension."
"Hey,hey guys stop.Let's just go and see Deku ,ok?"
All three headed to Midoriya's room.Uraraka softly breathed out then knocked on the door.
"Deku?"
"..."
"Deku ,you in there?"
"Of course he is in there airhead!"
"Bakugou,PLEASE!"
Stop talking
"Deku?Come on,it's us ,your friends?"
"..."
"Please open the door ,we are worried"
Liars.All liars
"...he won't respond."
"Let me try Uraraka,"-said Iida as he walked towards the door and knocked,-"Midoriya,please be reasonable and let us come in.We want to make sure you are ok."
Ok?what does that even mean anymore?
"...Midoriya?"
Stop saying my name .stop and leave me alone.
"Ah fuck this shit!"Bakugou rushed to open Izuku's door while concern was burning him within.He just had to see him.
"Huh?!Locked!?...Deku OPEN THE DOOR WE WANT TO SEE YOU!"
"...just please...go away"
And let me die already
10 DAYS AFTER THE ATTACK
"Todoroki,you don't have to pick Izuku up I can"
"Mrz.Midoriya it's alright,I do not mind at all."
"But all the way to the couch isn't it"
"No it's not tiring at all"
Why do you even bother Todoroki...Mom...how could you live with a shame and mistake like me now...
Todoroki sat in the couch right after sitting the green haired boy on it,who for days and days had a hollow expression on his face.Inko got out to leave the bous some space for themselves.
"...Midoriya"
"..."
"Midoriya please,look at me.I can't see you like this anymore.It's been days.You haven't said a word in so long .Please react ,anything."
Todoroki had grown more soft since that day in the hospital and couldn't pull off a cool look around Midoriya.He had faith that his beloved would be back no matter how long it took.He would break apart if it meant for him to come back.
"...Todoroki"
Shoto froze.Izuku talked.He spoke.Finally he could talk again.Todoroki held his hands and pulled Midoriya closer.
"M-Midoriya,you spoke....Y-you said my name...I-I"
"Why are you hugging me?"
"...what?"
"It's not ok to hug someone like me.I shouldn't even look at you,or be with you,or anyone else.I am just garbage.You shouldn't even care about trash like me Todoroki"
"...Midoriya what are you saying?Uou are not any of that"
Please don't
"I-i don't even think of you that way.Uou are so much more than that.To everyone,to ME.Midoriya I"
Please,please don't
"I love you.I really do"
Stop lying to me already I don't deserve any of this
"Todoroki please...take me back to my room."
"Huh?"
"Take me back to my room"
"But you"
"Please...I am tired"
You all must be too,I'd figure
1 MONTH AFTER THE ATTACK
Izuku was still not better.In fact he maybe got worse.His room was empty.All posters ,All Might figures,books,everything in boxes laying around the living room.His room was slightly lit just by the light sneaking through the blinds and his buzzing phone screen.How long had it been since he used that thing?When was the last time he had a genuine talk with someone,when did he last get out,when did he last had a proper meal,when did he last slept one night without crying his eyes out,did he even have anymore tears to shed?When was the last time he had smiled for his friends,his lover,his mother,himself?
Everything still ached.Whenever he had to change his clothes his body burned.He remembered everything to details.He had broken mirrors,so many ,just because he hated to look at that disfigured man in front of him.His fury burned hotter than hell,his mind was havier on his shoulders as days passed.He couldn't anymore.
You are so wrong.So worthless.A parasite.You haven't done nothing since you came back.Trash.But who would even care.Who.Everyone lies.
"Izuku honey?Can I come in?I brought you food"
"..."
But Inko still hot in.She would always see her boy sitting on his bed looking out the window at all the people out there different from him,still it pained her like it was the first time.
"...Darling,"-she said as she brushed his hair with her hand,-"I know it's so so hard,but please,I am begging you,try to get better."-tears started forming in her eyes.-"...Do it for your mother at least.I cannot see my baby like this.I want you to smile again honey...You can do it again right?"
Ink started crying while hugging her only son.
She could feel his warmth,but it wasn't his.She could feel his scent,but it wasn't his.She was hugging her son,but it wasn't him.He had changed since that day.
"...I-I still love you Izuku.So so much...Pl-please I need you"
After a few more sobs,to her surprise,Izuku hugged back.
"...Mom...please don't cry.I'm sorry,it's my fault you are crying"
"No baby no ,you have done nothing wrong nothing"
Everything about me is now wrong mom.
Izuku's thoughts were interrupted by a wierd feeling in this throat.
"Uh...M-mom?"
"Yes, what's wrong honey?"
"I-i don't feel...ngh"
He covered his mouth and ran to the bathroom,kneeling on the toilet and throwing up all he ate from this morning.
"Izuku!Sweetie are you ok?!"
"Why am I- ngh ...fuc—"
He threw up again
"Hah..sh—"
And again
"Mo- ngh wh-why"
And again,and again.
He was now just crying in the bathroom as his mother held him close cleaning him up.
"Why mom...why am I like this?"
"Please honey don't force yourself so much. it's ok it happens"
"...i...i wanna stay alone for a bit here"
"A-are you sure?You just"
"Yeah mom,I'll be fine"
"...call me if you need anything"
Ink left and closed the door behind her ,leaving Izuku alone on the floor with his back against the wall,looking up at the bathroom lights as if they wer egoing to fade at any moment.
You can't even control you own body.Fucking piece of shit.When have you ever done something right in your hod forsaken life.Nothing.
"...nothing"
Midoriya got up.
"You..."
Midoriya opened the sink drawer.
"Just..."
Midoriya got the razor's blade.
"Keep..."
Midoriya pulled up his sleevez
"Losing."
Midoriya started cutting.
WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT TIME ANYMORE ,I LOST
Better off all bruised,full of scars.Let what's in get out at its worse.Let it consume you whole till the last ray of light dies withing your own hands.
"...DORIYA!..PEN ...HE...OOR!!"
Faded voices.Who are they calling out for?Not you.They don't even care.They'll just use you again.You'll get up then fall back down,even deeper.You'll see places in your mind you didn't even know you had.
"EKU...UCKING..OUT...OW!!"
You just cause problems.You are just dead,unpure weight on the ground.Just bleed.Bleed out already.Whatever is dirty let it burst out.Deeper,deeper let it hurt and burn.It's your fault after all.
"...OUNG...AN...PLEA...MIDO...YA!!"
"HONE...PLEAS...TALK...O ....US!!"
After all
"IZUKU!"
You'll still
"MIDORIYA!WAKE UP!"
Will
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"
Always
"CALL AN AMBULANCE HE IS BLEEDING OUT!"
Lose
"...F-forgive...me.."
Only to yourself
...
