Still With Him

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee (no matter how much I wish I did)

Note: Missing scene from 'On My Way'

The Hudmel family was sitting at the dining room table eating in silence. They all kept glancing at Kurt in concern. He hadn't touched his food, just played with it.

"Kurt, sweetie, do you want me to wrap that up for you and you can go lie down for a bit?" Carole asked Kurt and he looked up at her.

"Um, can I just go lie on the couch?" he asked her.

"Of course sweetheart, go on," she said and Kurt stood. He walked into the living room and lied down on the couch in the dark. The other three finished quickly, none of them, even Finn, overly hungry. Burt walked past the couch and went to sit in his chair when a small voice stopped him.

"Dad," Kurt said quietly and Burt turned around. Kurt was sitting up slightly, looking up hopefully at Burt. Burt smiled and sat down next to his son, who immediately curled into his side. Carole and Finn each sat down in a chair and they turned on the TV. Kurt buried his face in his father's shirt and at first Burt thought that Kurt had fallen asleep. However, he soon realized he was wrong when he felt his son's shoulders shaking and hot tears soaking through his shirt.

"Kurt?" Burt asked concerned and Finn and Carole looked at the boy, "Buddy, what's wrong?" Kurt didn't answer his father's question; instead he just gripped his dad's shirt tighter and continued to cry.

"Shh, buddy, it's okay," Burt whispered as he rubbed slow circles on Kurt's back. Carole stood and walked out of the room, returning a minute later with a glass of water. She sat on the table, glass in hand, and ran her hand gently through Kurt's hair.

"Take deep breathes sweetie," she said quietly. It was a few minutes before Kurt calmed down and Burt and Carole kept up their mantra to help him.

"I thought about it," he said so quietly his family almost didn't hear him.

"You thought about it?" Finn asked confused, "Thought about what?"

"Suicide," Kurt said and his family froze, "Last year, I thought about it." He turned his head so his cheek was resting against his father's chest, but he could see his family. They had shocked looks on their faces and his dad's face had gone deathly white.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that." He went to stand, but his dad held him tighter and wouldn't let him move.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Burt asked, "Why didn't you tell me it got that bad?"

"I didn't know how," Kurt said, "But dad, it was fine –"

"How was it 'fine' Kurt? Hmm? How is the fact that you thought about killing yourself fine in any way?" Burt had gotten to his feet and was staring at his son.

"Dad, I don't feel like that anymore," Kurt said, "It just got really bad at one point last year."

"What changed?" Finn asked his brother.

"I... I went to spy at Dalton," Kurt said quietly.

"You met Blaine," Carole said, realization dawning on her face.

"He saved me," Kurt said, "I had someone to talk to. Someone who had dealt with the same stuff. He was there right when I needed him and he's been with me ever since." Carole smiled at her stepson, but Burt was fuming.

"So you'll talk to your boyfriend, but not us?" He said angrily.

"Dad I talk to him about everything," Kurt said.