Like the good little girl Rachel was after her thing with Finn--which involved her losing her virginity--and her seventeenth birthday right around the corner she went to confession. It was the only way to get rid of the sin, even if Rachel didn't think she did was a sin, she still felt bad because her and Sam weren't officially broken up, even though they were.
"Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it's been a while since my last confession." She says while sitting in the little box.
"What troubles you, my child." He replies.
She signs. Remembering ever little detail. Not only did she feel bad because of Sam, but because she lost her virginity to Finn Hudson of all people, in the back of a limo.
"After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to its self-absorbed ass. The only good news is he'll act like a pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God." He clears hid throat. "Sorry, truthfully, I'm not even Catholic."
"You don't say." He responds.
"But losing my virginity to Finn Hudson, none of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment, whatever you and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, putting the thing with teeth around my thigh like Silas."
"How about some food for thought instead. Don't drink, keep your clothes on, try avoiding those who might cause you to stray." He advises.
"Oh, I plan to. Thank you Father. It was very good advice." She says and quickly standing up and leaving, not before asking, "Your don't grant birthday wishes do you?"
"I'm a priest, not a genie." He answers.
"Well the next time you talk to Him, would you ask him to send my boyfriend back to me."
Oh, God.
***
Leaving her confession while slipping on some shades and crossing the streets to walk home a limo pulls up. None other then Finn Hudson "Now this is last place I'd except to find you."
"Go away Finn. I've been given orders practically from God himself to avoid you." She explained while continuing to walk.
"Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?" Finn proposed.
"Sorry, but as tradition I'm heading to the jewelers to put some pieces on hold for Shelby--"
"Sam, oh I don't think so he'll be singing happy birthday this year."
"No one knows that Sam and I broke up and it's gonna stay that way so I can fix this and I don't think your best friend would still be your best friend if he knew." She argued.
"If you knew how much I enjoyed the removal from a certain chastity belt from the back of my very limo." He told her back.
She stop walking, as did Finn's limo. "From this moment forward the event of last night will never be mentioned again. Is that clear?"
"Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear which I have been replaying over and over."
"Well erase the tape because as far as I'm considered it never happened."
"I'll see you at your party tonight." He told her.
"You're officially uninvited." She yelled at him as she raced forward making sure his limo wouldn't catch up.
"Never stopped me before." He shouted back rolling up his window and driving away.
***
Her party was suppose to top ever one before and maybe it just will.
