Mrs.CEO

43. Near Perfection

I knew what I had to do.

Did I love him? Of course. When I believed he was dead I cried like I had never cried before. When my father left I was numb. I was unable to shed a tear for that coward. When my mother died I was unable to cry as well. How could I cry for a woman who neglected her job of being a good mother?

When Dylan went missing that was the first time I had really cried for the loss of somebody. I loved him-wait no-I love him.

That man not only loved me like no other man had ever before, but he also gave me the three biggest blessings any woman could ask for.

Dylan was my world, but now my children are  first. What if it does not work out again? What if during this break-up our children get tangled onto that mess? It was too much of a risk to take and I was unsure of the outcome.

But did not I deserve happiness? Have I not experienced enough? Maybe everything that happened was to strengthen our love right?

The next day went by in a blink of an eye and before I knew it it was time. Time to either let him go for good or to grow the courage to love him once and for all.

I made my way to where he proposed. Where for the first time since I meet him I saw a glimpse of hope for happiness and stability two words not commonly used to describe my life.

There I was standing in front of the Empire State Building. I felt my chest suddenly tighten up and my legs unable to move. I couldn't bring myself to climb up those steps.

"Are you okay?" I felt a hand touch my back and I was suddenly pulled back into reality.

"I thought you hated me." I whispered.

"I don't hate you, stupid. I was just mad. Furious at the whole situation to be precise. I let out my anger and lashed out at you when I shouldn't have. I was unfair towards you and I regret the stuff I said to you."

"I know I'm not perfect, I know I made mistakes and for that I apologize. I never meant to make you feel like an intruder was taking your brothers place. As you can tell I'm extremely messed up from my head." I sadly chuckled.

"Glad you realized that, but we all are."

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay I saw you leaving the house extremely pale and I didn't want anything to happen to you. By the way what are you doing here?"

"I came to see your brother."

"Here?"

"Yes, here."

"I'll leave you then. Go handle what you need to go handle. As cheesy as this sounds listen to your heart and not your mind. As you said your mind is pretty fucked up so don't let it make important decisions." I weakly smiled and Carter gently kissed the side of my head and walked off.

I finally had the courage to begin walking and take myself up to the last floor. I opened the door and there he was. His back to me, but I knew it was him I could recognize him miles away.

The sun was coming down, and the view looked breathtaking. I slowly began walking my heels clicking against the floor. My heart beat reached a new high.

Dylan slowly turned around and his smile took my breath away. That smiled that I had not seen for so long that I was slowly beginning to forget. That smile that captured my heart and made me love him more.

"You made it."

"I did."

"Does this me—-"

"Yes, a fresh start. A clean slate. We deserve it. We've been through too much. I need to apologize—-"

"Kota—"

"Dylan, please let me do this. I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around. I know from the get go I've been a pain in your ass. I've acted like a brat. Since I was a child I had all thee barriers I made them to protect myself from any more harm. Not having loving parents I didn't know how to love. The first thing I loved was Nonna she became like my mother. I didn't have a manual on how to love. Then you came in barging into my life. At first it was much easier to not like you it was like a natural reflex, but then you grew on me. I began loving you and that was scary because I don't properly know how to handle my emotions. I pushed you away instead of talking with you and properly expressing myself. I was scared. It was something I had never experienced, and it seemed like once we started progressing something happened and we went three steps back. You know how terrifying it was to feel happy and then suddenly get it snatched away? I claimed to do what was best for you and the kids but I was selfish and did what was best for me. I'm ashamed of it and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting myself first in such shitty situations. I need to learn how to be a better human being and I hope you're willing to be by my side and help me. I can only hope you're willing to stay by my side and love me with all my flaws. I hope you can teach me how to love without harming others around me. I hope you're willing to let me love you and make you happy. If you can't I totally understand and I'm sorry for putting you through hell and back."

I did not even realize when tears began streaming down my face and they weren't stopping anytime soon.

Dylan suddenly placed his thumb underneath my eyes and began wiping my tears.

"Hey don't cry. I hate seeing you cry. Of course I want to be with you not once did I doubt it. We have both made horrible mistakes through this marriage, but now we learn what not to do. We can learn from our mistakes. We can start from scratch and build our happiness. I want to grow old with you and love you until death do us apart. I want to be part of your life till my last breath. There's no one else I can see my present and future with. You're my person. The women of my dreams. You make me complete you've given me the best moments of my life and the biggest gifts I could possibly ask for. You're wonderful and I love every single one of your flaws. Nobody can be perfect, but in my eyes you're damn near it, baby. I love you so much."

Dylan closed the gap between us with a tender sweet kiss. The taste and warmth of his lips which I missed. In that exact moment I knew everything was going to be okay.