Day 1: When I awoke my never ending sleep, I wondered around my room looking for something to do. Being grounded has those perks. While I walk I grow tried, sad since I just woke up. There is nothing to do and nothing to see in my room. See I'm not grounded to my room but I decide if they were going to ground me I might as well throw in my own perks. So after I finally turn on the anime that I started last night, I sit on my bed and drown in my thoughts. You know I had some crazy dreams last night. Fact people who lay on there stomach while sleeping are proven to have crazed or scary dreams. Point proven that I should probably stop laying on my stomach.My dream consisted of my old choir teacher dressed up in a spakley green suit and just telling me what I want to hear. See this is why I like to dream because this reality sucks. Let me rephrase that this whole year has sucked. Let me tell you what just started it all of course a boy.
Tristan was no regular heartbreaker, he was the type of guy you copy off of in class. There was no denying he was smarter than anyone I ever knew. This was my first relationship. Well just my longest relationship I guess. The first few monthes of our six monthes of being a couple was regular. The love dovey talk,and cute phrases we would say. In the last monthes the bumps begun to rise. I wanted more and all he could give me was the lovey dovey talk. Finally he just started telling me how he really felt. He never really loved me and he basically compared his love for me as just a close friend love, So after crying for a whole week, I broke up with him. The break up was harsh more on me than him, Probably because it was summer and I had hardly anyone to vent to. If I only knew then that this would only be the start of all the pain.
The summer of freshman year pasted by slowly, but at the same time freshman came. Thats when my family found out that my grandmothers cancer had come back. We were not prepared for what was about to come. After a month she couldn't leave the house. Then another month pasted and she could leave the bed. The next month she didn't want to eat. Then 3 weeks later she hardly woke up. No wate rthen slowly no grandma, I know this probably shouldn't have it me as hard as it did considering we had as long as we did to prepare for this. I never got closer. I never got to say goodbye. I always to stubborn to actually visit her. I didn't want to witness death. I will never forget the day she did die, My father came into my room and told me and I could stop laughing. Two hours straight of just laughing. I finally cried after that. Then at the funarel I didn't want to cry, I wanted to be the strong one. So started to singing to myself and not the best song to sing in a church. Anyway, I started to mourn in the best way I could, finding a guy to help me get all these feelings in check.
Gordan better known as "Goldfish". Note that he is currently my best friend and the only person I can closely talk to. In the beginning he started out as a my boyfriend. He was clingy and very love- dovey. But here is the kicker before he was my boyfriend, he was dated the blair bitch project. I nickname I gave to Amy the girl I stole Gordan away from, They were still dating at the time i was targeting him, and when I target someone I get them no matter what . So when he finally did break up with the Blair Bitch Project, I was all over that. That same day I ran into his arms giving him the big seabear hug that he loved so much and kissed him. We hung out after school and got hot chocolate. Let's just note that on this day I was still not his girlfriend. We skyped every night and finally the day came. We set up a day where we could hang out all day. My friends Cole and Jenna came along, note that they when once seriously dating then Jenna cut it off the same day Me and tristan cut it off. Gordan bought me a christmas present and then asked me to be his girlfriend at the top of my old elementry school playset. Then two weeks later we broke up because I ignored him for one day and he freaked out. Then came the David stage, get ready cause this one is harsh.
The David stage was probably the most wonderful relationship have ever had. This is how it all started. One day I was texting him about how screwed up my life was. I had told him i have had enogh with all the pain. he questioned this but yet I did not awnser. I was to busy poping pills for the pain, I took 6 pain killers. David had found out and busted my ass about it everyday. Now I don't know if he did his out of pity but he would talk to me every night and hang with me everyday after school. We had told each other everything down to the deep dark "I Hate this person". But at the end of spring break, Tennis had started and he had given up on me and what we had. It wasn't even a settle thing either. It was out of the blue, nobody would think that that text would have ever had gotten sent. Let's face the facts though we were never dating. And finally the last tragedy of freshman year, Jenna.
Absoultely no one saw this coming, but that day I was blue. All my emotions were on high and there was no stopping me from exploding all over the next person who had come up to me and snapped at me. Luck me it was my best friend at the time. she asked me if i was pissed at her, then soon after started to cuss me out, I was the polite one in this I promise you that. I finally told her I was done with her. Why was this so troubling? We did everything together, Jenna, Cole and I. there was nothing that they didn't know. I was always so jealous of Jenna though. She was the tall blonde everyone was friends with, How could I compete with that? I was always competing with her and that day I finally took a stand i was done competing, Note Cole was my best Friend from the very beginning and I've known him since the 1st grade. SO there was no denying that if it ever came down to it he would always choose me.
So now it is summer, I'm ready to start My 2nd year of high school. I dont know all this stuff that happen this year drove me to why I got grounded. I can't help but think of what happened was not even worth this punishment. I guess curiouosity killed the cat, all I did was take one sip and now this endless loneliness was punished upon me.Yay!
- Love,
Olive Hut
