Every night I stayed up and sat at my computer for hours to get the boys to notice me. Magcon was my life and i wouldn't be here without them. With my brother being a drug addict and my other brother having cancer it was hard for me to focus on school. I mostly layed there thinking about what would happen. What might the future hold for me. I had horrible grades and a horrible attendance. I missed once a week. I stayed up late and never woke up to go to school and my excuse was "I'm sick" . When i went to school, it was as if I didn't exist. No one talked to me and when I talked, it was as if I was the weird person. I came home everyday, cleaned, did homework, ate, and went to my room to tweet as much as I could to get nash, cam, or carter to follow me. My favorite magcon boy was Nash Grier. He was gorgeous. He always made me smile. My dream was to meet him once. But in stupid Colorado no one ever visited there. So there went my chances of ever meeting nash. My parents think I'm an abnormal teenage girl because I sit on my phone 24/7 and they forced me into counciling once a week. I hated it. Nothing was wrong with me. At least that's what I thought. Today my chore was to walk my annoying, rat dog, who pees everywhere. His name is Zeus. And after mom is driving me to stupid counciling. I'm defiantly not excited. Last week, Mrs. Holly (my councilors name) said that this week we will be talking about "how the phone affects the brain" which is ridiculous because it doesn't. Once I got home mom was inside changing.
"Hey sweetie! We are leaving in five ok?"
"K mom"
My mom always try's to pull off the "I love you so much" thing but really.. She loves my brother more then me. She gives him anything he wants. But me.. Nope. Nothing.
Once I got to Mrs. Holly's office she made me sit in the horrible, torn leather chair. It was so uncomfortable. The whole office smelled like an old people home. And the last thing I wanted to do on my Tuesday night was to sit here and talk about my life. Like no.
"Hey Harmony. How are you today?"
"Fine." I didn't want to be there.
"You seem mad. Talk to me." Mrs. Holly said.
"I don't wanna be here whatsoever but my family forces me to. And today I DO NOT want to talk about phones." I was frustrated.
"Harmony... take a deep breath."
I rolled my eyes.
"I know you don't wanna talk about phones but they are so bad for you if you just sit there and stare at a screen. They radiate weird senses to your brain that can cause any kind of cancer or it can put you in a coma." Mrs. Holly dragged on and on about how deadly phones can be and it became very annoying. I just nodded the whole time thinking about Nash. finally when hell was over, I got to go home and see if Nash tweeted anything. Yeah I may be addicted to checking my phone but what teenager isn't?
The next day at school is a day I will never forget. It was the worst day of my life. There's this bitch drama queen named Julie at my school and she always starts stupid rumors about people. And the rumor of the day was about me. Of course. There were posters all over everyone's lockers that stated: "want some free bj...? Harmony is in town and she does them to anyone that asks." Everyone was looking at me all nasty and even some gross perverted guys actually tried to talk to me. I just let it go because this is pretty much normal for me. But the day kept getting worse. All the girls called me a slut and whore. And perverted guys kept trying to flirt with me. I started to hyperventilate so I went to the bathroom and started bawling. I heard two girls come in and I stopped crying.
"Did you hear about harmony?" One girl said
"Oh my god I know! I actually feel bad for her like no one likes her."
"Yeah but it's for a reason. Did you know her and Mr. Harold had a thing last year."
That was the biggest lie I have ever heard. Even bigger then the one today. I haven't even had a boyfriend and let alone Mr. Harold. Eww no!
"Wow! Omg everyone has to know about this!" The girls were laughing and they walked out. After a few, I quietly opened the bathroom door when it was during class so no one would be out side in the halls and I went to the nurses office. I told them I just puked. But they wouldn't call my mom or dad. I heard the bell ring and the nurse yelled at me to go back to class. I went into the hallway with my head down hoping no one would say anything. And with my luck everyone was saying "Harmony is pregnant. people saw her puking in the bathroom." I was in tears bawling. I was running to the bathroom when someone ran into me. It was Julie of course. She started laughing and said, "Harmony, it wouldn't really matter if you just killed yourself already no one likes you anyway."
I ended up walking home. I thought a lot. No one did like me. And it's not like I'd ever meet nash anyway. It wouldn't matter if I was gone. My mom doesn't love me. My dad drinks and doesn't even talk to me. My brother does heroine so half the time he doesn't even know what day it is. So pretty much my life sucks and If I went back to school, that would be bad. My plan was to end my life because I didn't even get noticed enough to live it. When I got home, I went to the medicine cabinet and I got my moms blood pressure medicine and I took 7 which were all there was. I went to my room and layed on my bed. I was scared. Tears were running down on my face and all I could hear in my head was, "It wouldn't really matter if you just killed yourself already" I couldn't stop crying and all of a sudden it was dark.
I woke up In a bright room with a needle in my arm.
