Thoughts

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My family we are not like others. Never have I celebrate my birthday with them. Nobody wish me anything. Not even a simple happy birthday.

I am jealous. Jealous of my friends that can communicate with their parents and siblings better than I can.

Yeah I know nobody's family is perfect but I at least want to know that I have a place to lean on when I am about to fall. I think I am craving for attention. No, I know that I am craving for someone to love me.

Being single all your life sucks. Often I wonder what my partner would be like. What type of lover am I. I know I can be extra clingy at time, I just hope he is patient enough to be alongside me. Speak to me about his day, his feeling. Hold me when I cry. I'll do the same. Be happy even when we have the worst day ever. Happy that we have each other. I crave that.

When I have children, I want them to know that they can tell me anything. No need to feel afraid though I may be strict at parenting, I just want them to know that I love them. Always have always will. Because I know how bad it feel to know that nobody considered you important enough in their life.

Of course every parents love their children. They just don't know how to show it. But it still hurts nonetheless you know it or not. I need the reassurance. Badly.

- I