EUPHORIA, jihope week. [fin.]

DAY SEVEN

love and laughs.
(fluff, basically)

jimin could not help the warm tears running down his cheeks. curled up in fetal position, knees almost hitting his forehead, jimin clutched his blanket as hard as he could until his knuckles started to become white. the voices inside of his head started to catch him again. no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he tried to suppress them, they always kept coming back to nag his soul.

you're worthless.

what a piece of garbage.

is there anything you can do right?

jimin should have known better than to read the comments netizens had written about him. the members always told him not to do it, knowing how much it all affected him, but he just couldn't help himself. he needed to know. was he good enough? was he doing alright? what did people think of him? despite his smiling and charming mask, jimin was really a sensitive and fragile boy on the inside.

always doubting himself, zero confidence and trust.

always believing himself to be worthless.

jimin bit his lower lip trying to suffocate the sobs that wracked his body. he did not want anyone to know, he did not want anyone to see him in this state. jimin buried his face in his flower patterned pillow.

this sad and pathetic state.

"jimin? are you alright?" a voice said from the other side of the bedroom.

of course there was one person who knew, who had seen it all. hoseok’s voice was so full of concern like it always was and it made jimin tremble even harder. trying to stop himself from crying felt like hands were squeezing his throat, trying to strangle him. jimin was hurting.

but it wasn’t long until the bed dipped slightly and jimin felt a warm body next to his, a familiar chest against his back. as hoseok’s arms wrapped around him protectively jimin could not help but to lean in to his touch that was nothing more than comforting. hoseok held jimin tight against himself and whispered words of reassurance, but the voices in his head persisted. jimin’s body trembled again as a muffled sob left his lips.

hoseok held on to him even tighter.

jimin loved him for it.

---

a faint morning light cast its shadows over the two boys holding onto each other, limbs tangled under the sheets. it played with their skin, with their hair, before landing on their eyes, still shut in a state of bliss. as jimin opened his, he found himself gazing at hoseok’s sleeping face, their bodies turned towards each other and hoseok’s arms around him keeping him safe. after all their years together, this was possibly the closest jimin had ever been to hoseok. so close he could even count the boy's elegantly long lashes. there was something about the boy that made jimin utterly speechless, something so beautiful he gasped quietly to himself.

for a moment, jimin just kept staring, taking in the familiar figure right in front of him. yet, it felt as if jimin saw hoseok for the first time. his fingers ached to touch his smooth skin, run over his soft cheeks now pressed against the pillow. he wanted to move the peachy locks that had fallen on his forehead away. he wanted to trace the lines of the little mole on hoseok's upper lip.

to jimin, hoseok was his safe haven. the one person in this world who could make him feel better about himself with just one glance. the other boy thought jimin did not know, but he did. how could he not notice how hoseok always seemed to be there even when he did not see it, always for him, so selflessly caring it hurt jimin’s heart? all those little compliments he randomly (or to be honest, not too randomly) let out to make jimin feel loved and appreciated, more sure about himself. all those times he called him beautiful, perfect just the way he was, or told him he did well while rubbing circles with his thumb around the back of his neck. he thought jimin didn't notice, but he did.

and jimin loved him for it, so much.

it was as if he saw right through him, right into his insecurities. hoseok knew what jimin was feeling or thinking even before he did himself. he was reading him as if they were born from the same soul and it felt like he held jimin’s whole life in him. it was a feeling jimin could never escape, nor did he want to.

not being able to stop himself, jimin moved closer, pressing their bodies even closer while taking in the warm feeling of home that radiated from his friend. he reached out his hand to gently caress hoseok’s face. it felt as if fire was burning his fingers to dust.

he thought of how hoseok always put jimin and his happiness before himself, always making him smile doing the silliest things. whether it was pulling silly faces or doing funny dances, hoseok always made him happy, even when he was not.

jimin wanted to do the same for hoseok, be the safe haven for him as well, knowing full well his hyung had his fair share of nasty comments from the people, a lot of sadness and hardships, feeling a lot more hurt and insecure about himself than he let anyone realize. he hid it behind that sunny smile, but jimin knew better. jimin knew because he was the same. even though hoseok was sometimes hurting, he still did his best to make sure everyone else was doing okay.

hoseok possessed the kind of beauty you could only see with your heart.

because of this, jimin found himself holding back tears. his hyung was so beautiful it hurt him.

suddenly hoseok moved a bit, unconsciously pulling jimin even closer to himself. so close their noses were almost touching. hoseok’s pretty pink lips parted ever so slightly making jimin cheeks heat up. they were close enough to where he could feel hoseok’s steady breathing, his heart beat. he knew hoseok, knew every part of his body, had seen his muscles move to music countless of times, had held onto him.

yet it was hoseok's parted lips that seemed to be complete strangers to him.

just by looking at his hyung, jimin felt this insane warmth surrounding his body. it was nothing sexual, nothing intimate, just the feeling of warmth that came from feeling cared and safe. hoseok made him feel loved every day with all the little things he did, he made him feel the warmth of a home. but this home was not a house, it was the most important person in jimin’s life.

the one he felt like he belonged with.

so before he knew it, jimin brought his face even closer to hoseok’s, wanting to take in everything this rare moment could give him.

'just this one time,' jimin thought to himself as he pressed his lips against hoseok’s, the touch as light as feather. it was just a mere touch, nothing more, just an exchange of affection.

but just as jimin started to pull away, hoseok pulled him closer by his waist and fully placed his lips on jimin's, eyes still shut. jimin, although shocked at first, kissed back, fingertips playing with the collar of hoseok's nightshirt.

as they pulled away, hoseok smiled his stupidly bright smile and rested his forehead against jimin's.

"it's about time."

jimin simply smiled and hit him lightly as he snuggled farther under the covers. he mumbled something about being too tired for this and pressed his face into hoseok's neck before falling asleep again, making hoseok laugh quietly and kiss the top of jimin's head. hoseok somehow pulled jimin closer and fell asleep a minute later, content with the turn of events.